Friday, January 23, 2015

Blog Fog

Every year, right about this time, I seem to encounter a blog fog.

Just a hazy period where good ideas are hard to come by, and the ones that do appear seem to be lost behind a wall of fluffy gauze.

They’re out there, but I just can’t seem to get to them…nor do I feel particularly motivated to try.

Not sure why this happens. I guess my mind—you know, the one with a mind of its own—just wants a rest from all this absurdity I force upon it, day in and day out.

Oh sure, I could tell you all about my recent discovery…the one about how my butt shelf is shrinking.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Self & Soul—what a pair....

We’ve just emerged from the dark of the moon; a time when some say the veil between worlds thins and crossing through becomes possible…if you’re not careful.

Which I normally am, but sometimes, especially while watching “The Mindy Project”, I get distracted and…well, you know.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Mindless Regrets

I was supposed to have waffles for breakfast this morning, but instead mindlessly fixed myself a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, which is my go-to breakfast on mindless days…which would be most days.

But this morning, I told myself…waffles…today I’m gonna have waffles.

And then I forgot.

So now I’m looking at an empty cereal bowl in which the aforementioned Honey Nut Cheerios did once reside.

So I’m thinking it might just be one of those days.

Now can you see why I’m reluctant to pursue the clone thing?

Although maybe if I had come down and found the clone eating waffles, I would have remembered.

But I can’t afford to think like that.

At least that’s what the doctor said.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Send In The Clones

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a clone of myself around the house.

So I’ve been working on that in my free time…especially when it rains

You know…create an exact replica to do all the things that need doing, that I don’t want to do.

Which is most everything that involves some sort of participation on my part....

Taking out the garbage…mowing the lawn…shoveling snow…brushing my teeth….

However, my fear is that since it is a clone of myself, it would figure out a way to sit around doing nothing and get me to do all those things for him.

Then I’d have to do twice as much.

So I have to be careful.

It’s not as easy as it sounds.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Not January’s Fault

January can’t help but feel a bit schizophrenic.

There are those who look upon January as a brave white knight, riding into town to save the day.

Others—not saying who—look upon January as a bad night on the town, capped off by a stepped in pile of horse poop, left behind by the mounted policeman who recently reminded you that pants are a required wardrobe accessory while strolling down Main Street, even if it is after midnight.

So January doesn’t really know what to think.

Adulation here….

Disdain there….

60 degrees here….

6 degrees there….


So what’s a month to do…especially the first month of every year?

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

New Year’s Impressions

Almost a week into 2015 and the new year is already complaining…at least around here.

(I know…just go with it. It’s been a looooong holiday season)

“Is this it for the weather…is this how it’s gonna be…my whole stretch???”

“No…of course not. This is just the winter weather…January, February…you know…the wary months.”

“Oh right…14 was telling me, just before it limped out of town.  Sorry…you just never know until….”

“That’s okay…you’re new.”

“I mean, 14 couldn’t wait to get out of here.  Not even a forwarding address to send its unpaid gym membership.”

“Well…a lot of people had issues with 14…in the end, it wasn’t very popular.”

“Yeah…but what year ever is?  That’s the first thing they warn us about in year school."

“There’s a school for years?”

“Well…duh…yeah…how else do you expect a brand new year to hit the ground running?  Do you think you’re all going to just sit around on your collective thumbs waiting for a new year to catch up?  Who does that…I mean, except writers?”