Tuesday, August 30, 2016

A Most Conditional Summer

Right now I’m feeling very indebted to the person who invented the Air Conditioner.
I’ve pretty much been living inside of one for the last few weeks.
And I can show you my electric bill to prove it.
But I don’t really care about the money; not really.
I think it’s a small price to pay to circumvent my inner thighs from producing that annoying swooshing sound they make whenever I combine walking and excessive perspiration.
A gift from the gods of Freon...or whatever it is they use these days to freeze my nose hairs.
If you’re under 40 you probably think, what’s the big deal?

Monday, August 8, 2016

Fishing for Metaphors...and other things

I’ve been "missing" again, and this time I don’t have a good excuse.

Not really....

Other than, by some trick of the calendar, summer arrived while I wasn’t looking...and by the time I did bother to look, it was  already nearly 10 days into August.

Not that I haven’t been taking full advantage of the island respite summer provides once the doldrums of winter pass and the busy work of spring is put to rest.

I have...with all the “toes in the water, ass in the sand” enthusiasm I can muster...I have

Which is part of the problem that leads to my “missing” malady.

Once summer rolls around, whether I’m aware or not, I have a penchant for hanging out the “Gone Fishing” sign...even though I’ve only once put an actual pole in the water with intent; even then, some 50 years or so ago.

And that ended up with me gagging at the sight of fish guts smeared on my fingers and having to be returned to shore where I was adopted by a band of traveling gypsies, who taught me the art of the trapeze.
But I digress....