Everyone’s excited about this photograph depicting the first
actual view from earth of a Black Hole.
Sort of....
The so-called
event horizon, beyond which even light cannot escape and where all known
physical laws break down…sometimes, also referred to as The White House.
Sorry…I couldn’t
resist.
According to
the scientists, a black hole is the region around an extremely compact clump of
matter whose intense gravitational force so powerfully distorts and warps space
that you might think of it as a puncture in space itself.
Kind of like what
one of my old college roommates produced on Saturday mornings after his usual raucous
Friday nights.
Originally, according
to the NY Times, black holes were just one mathematical solution to Einstein’s
field equations of general relativity. There was no guarantee that they
corresponded to real astronomical objects.
Even Einstein
was skeptical that they existed…as well as the need to tip, since he was known as a
notorious cheapskate, among the other geniuses.
Anyway, everyone’s all a Twitter about this photo…I mean,
most everyone except my friend Lou who claims it’s pretty much the same thing
he sees whenever he takes a selfie with any one of his in-laws.
I’m sure you have no idea what that means, but you don’t know
Lou, like I know Lou.
I also read, I think…maybe…but don’t quote me…the bright
yellow donut thing circling the black hole is actually all the poor, about to
be sucked in, never to be seen again, universal matter that just happened to be
in the wrong place at the wrong time…much like Al Franken
Things like unmatched socks, car keys, sunglasses, lunch
money, laundry tickets…even Rosanne’s career.
They say these black holes are everywhere, all over the all
over, and will, eventually pull everything into its big o’l donut hole of extinction.
Poof!
Just like that….
Even if you’re right in the middle of Game of Thrones Season
4…or is it 5…maybe 6.
The one with the Dragon and bloody deaths.
There’s just no telling with these Black Holes.
Very rude and unreliable, photogenic or not.
Which to me, is something we should be concerned about, more
than excited about.
Did the dinosaurs get excited when some Neanderthal finally nailed a great cave drawing of the asteroid about to crash into the planet?
Beats me.
What do I know about Dinosaurs?
Or cave drawings?
Or Neanderthals?
Let alone Black Holes?
It’s the beauty of what I do, here; I don’t need to know anything…apparently.
But I do know I’m not all that thrilled with the idea of
eventually being sucked into one of these Dunkin Donut specials, with or
without a free Coolata…not to mention the destruction and extinction part.
Even if it is quite a ways off.
Possibly, after the next election.
And who knows what condition we’ll all be in by that time,
anyway.
It is rumored that this photo was taken 3 years ago. That is scary, for I fear if we are sucked into this black hole, it might take 3 years before we are notified. What will we do in the meantime? I mean this is serious.
ReplyDeleteI would probably try and get through the restof David Foster Wallace's "Infinite Jest". Talk about your Black Hole....
DeleteMaybe I ought to follow my doc's advice when I complained (nicely, not aggressively) about the long wait in his waiting room. He suggested I bring a good book, like "War and Peace."
ReplyDelete