Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Tomorrow & Today





 
 
We never know what Tomorrow will bring.

Truth is, Tomorrow usually shows up empty handed.

Just plops itself down on the couch, turns on HBO and immediately starts catching up on past seasons of “Game of Thrones”. All this while Today finishes up with whatever misperceived havoc we believe it’s managed to create in our lives over the last 24.

Yet, we all worry about Tomorrow...much to Tomorrow’s amusement, which plays right into the hands of Today.

In fact, Today has come to count on us keeping one eye turned to Tomorrow, so it can get away with a lot more crap knowing we’re distracted wondering how we’re going to avoid more of the same Tomorrow.

And as Today completes its business, Tomorrow just continues dropping popcorn kernels in-between the couch cushions while exchanging correspondence with Yesterday who’s already off sunning itself in the Caribbean.

Truth is, though...Today isn’t really trying to annoy us, at all. Today is doing its best, leaving subtle little nuggets of treasure behind.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

May-Be...May-be-not....





Some call it the merry month of May.

May-be.

May-be-not....

You don’t hear “merry” used all that much anymore, though.

I mean other than the Christmas thing.

Folks don’t say, “I’m having a merry old day, today”.

Or they’re in a very merry mood.

No...for some reason “merry” has been shoved aside into the frivolous adjectival flotsam of colorful conversation.

Which is too bad because it seems a very merry, apropos description...especially for the month of May.

May-be.

May-be-not....

As months go, May is full of potential.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Storms...as storms go






Life doesn’t always go as we would like...winning Power Ball numbers, aside.

It’s not always one straight road or smooth sailing or clear skies ahead...or whatever travel related metaphor you’d like to employ.

It’s more of a bumpy mogul laden trail on the slopes.

Or stormy seas.

Or curvy unfamiliar terrain.

Most of the time....

Even before we get in our car, boat or airplane...let alone strap on our skis....

That’s just how it goes.

In fact, if we’d like to go through life without disappointment, then we should probably either stay in the basement or just plan on bumps as the natural course of things.

Maybe even look forward to the downs so we can enjoy the challenge of getting back to the ups.

Fleeting as they may be.

I mean, aside from my personal record of 1,500 straight paddleball whacks back in 1978—what can I say...I was on a roll—I haven’t had many ups that have lasted much past lunchtime.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Zombies Dig Spring





The Zombies across the street were out raking their lawn the other day—starting their spring cleanup—so I thought I’d amble over and see how they’ve been holding together...in more than the usual way you’d expect from the un-dead.

They lost Grandpa Zombie a while back and since they’re not used to losing people, or sort of people, or not-people...however you want to phrase it, they’ve been having trouble making sense of it all...if there’s any sense to be made when it comes to Zombies.

Let’s just say they have somewhat different attitudes when it comes to living their lives...or not living their lives...whatever the case might be.

Plus it was all kind of sudden.  One minute Grandpa Zombie was sitting out on the front stoop munching on some rotten apples—who, to be honest, had it coming—and the next, he was gone.

And it’s on the rare side to actually lose a Zombie.

Yeah, Gramps was up there...I mean way, way up there...but you usually don’t hear about this kind of thing.

Someone suggested he might’ve just shuffled off, down to the library and wasn’t lost at all.

I guess that’s possible. They found a Zombie big toe propping up the short leg on the periodicals table, and everyone knows Gramps was a big fan of Life Magazine—he enjoyed the pictures, especially of wildlife—but let’s face it, finding a Zombie big toe is not that unusual. They drop those things—and more—like the rest of us drop our keys...it could have belonged to any one of them.

So who knows?

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Down on That





 
I’m on a personal crusade against “That”.

I say...“Down with “That”.

Well, I don’t really say that very often...if at all.

But I’m saying it now

“Down with “That”.

And you can tell that I’m saying it and that I mean business because I’m using quotations.

And...I just used “That”...again...twice.

I use it a lot...that is.

That this, that that...that everything else.

You probably do too...use that...that is.

I do it without even knowing that I do....damn!

I noticed it when I went back and re-edited some of my old manuscripts...I use “that”...way more than that deserves to be employed.

In fact, in most cases, “that” isn’t necessary at all.

Unless it has its noun suit on.

Then “that” is okay.

That deserves a seat at the table.

Actually, the proper term is probably pronoun suit...but it didn’t sound quite as catchy.

Which is a whole other kettle of fish.

Which, technically, I shouldn’t be using to start a sentence, either.

Which...that is.

But, on a whole...and sometimes a half...I’ve pretty much disregarded the rules of grammar, ever since I stopped being tested on them.

As you can plainly see.

I pretty much write by ear...which looks weird, as well.

Plus I miss a lot of conversations.

Point being...I write the way I hear people talk...and, conversely, the way I talk.

So I guess I say “that”...a lot.

But now I see there’s really no reason for “that”.

Most sentences are cleaner without “that”.

I don’t need to know, “He said that it was....”

The fact he said “it was”, is enough.

I know “she traveled” a hard road...so adding “that she traveled” it, doesn’t make it any harder.

Anyway, now I’m trying to eliminate all the unnecessary “that’s”.

But I know that I won’t get them all....damn!

That is insidious that way.

Were in a rush, and that pops up.

Then we go back and we can’t help but see that.

And then that’s that....

Don’t even get me started on ellipses....you know....

When an em-dash would do—

Or is it en-dash—?

Who knows?

And Who’s not saying anything that we don’t already know about...this, that...or the other thing....

I use ellipses a lot too...along with that...probably to the annoyance of many—possibly you.

I guess it’s just a rhythm thing. It’s how I hear it in my head.

The pauses, the stumbles...the incorrect grammar—all for effect.

Or is it affect?

Nah...I’m pretty sure it’s effect?

Maybe—

In the end—which this is—it’s just about making some sort of sense out of your own gibberish.

As long I get it, I figure that you will too....

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh...!

______________________________________

Have you picked up my new book “The Kingdom of Keys”?
                                                
No....what's up with that???

Better hurry before they're ALL GONE...which is a lie because they'll never be all gone...never....

So why not buy one just to reward my forthrightness..ness...ness?

You might even enjoy it.


And spread the word...cuz nobody else is....

Just sayin....
 
Available now at Amazon.com and all other major on-line booksellers - Click Here




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Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Sage Advice





 
The sagest advice I ever received was not to step in dog’s doo.

And, at the time, I wasn’t even sure what dog’s doo was.

But it sounded like good advice so I tried my best to dog’s don’t on the doo.

But as with any sage advice, I eventually dog’s did.

And I wished I didn’t....

But that’s how it was when I was a kid.

I was also told not to poke my eye out, which I thought was a plan.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Cultured by Comics





Comics Books and Super Heroes are very BIG these days.

In fact I don’t think they’ve ever been “not big”.

I grew up reading comic books.

In fact I probably owe a great deal of my imagination to comic books.

Which may or may not be a good thing.

But I like to think it is.

For me, they were more than mere individual panels of artwork on a page. 

For me, they were windows into another world...be it Batman, Superman, Archie, Dennis the Menace, Sad Sack, Casper, or even Richie Rich, whom I suspected became Casper, later in life once he departed this earthly coil...you know, after he caught his little red bowtie in one of those big money counting machines.

But that’s just me....

While the images in each frame remained frozen, my imagination did not, and it animated each scene as the story carried me from panel to panel.