Friday, August 21, 2015

Mad at the Moon

I was sitting on the beach the other day pondering some of life’s more ponderous questions; like why use “pondering” or “ponderous” when I could just say “thinking” or “difficult”?

Because it sounds smarter?

But what’s wrong with sounding smarter?

I know...ponderous...huh?

Or do we really have to add stuff to pretzels to make them taste better than they already do?

Cheerios, maybe....but pretzels?

There’s enough questionable stuff going on in the world that we really don’t need to pile on with anymore nonsense.

Do we?

So of course I have a few things to add that we all just take for granted as everyday occurrences, and merely look the other way.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Humid is as Humid Does - From Aug. 6, 2012

I know...I've been scarce lately.  Except around the belt line...I've been plentiful there.

We were off on another vacation last week.  Nothing dramatic as the last one.

Down at the shore for a few days, a hike in the woods, a baseball game, across to the shore over there.

So now I'm two vacations behind in my tale telling.

But I'm getting closer...I can feel it.

Unless that's just remnants of last night's eggplant parmigiana ....

Hard to tell.

In the meantime, while I ponder's something from 2012 that seems pretty relevant....

 From August 6, 2012:

Humid is as Humid Does 

The humidity the last few days has been insidious and unrelenting.

Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh.

Perhaps insidious is too strong a word and not one really applicable to a large warm air mass…unless you’re referring to one of my distant cousins, twice removed (but always returns), on my great aunt's side.

I mean literally, the guy is attached to my great aunts side.


I guess the better word for it is insufferable, because that’s what it is…insufferable, defined:

“So annoying, unpleasant, or uncomfortable as to be unbearable….”

Hey...why does that make me feel self-conscious?

Even weirder, huh?

Maybe I was a little too quick to heap all those nice words on August the other day.

It’s not really keeping up its end of the bargain, is it?

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Fat Summer! - From August 8, 2011

I was thinking of declaring this "Repeat Summer" since it seems that's all I've been capable of turning out here on these pages since July.  But in truth...and sometimes lies...I regret to  say, I must once again go back to the summer of 2011 and drag Fat Summer out again...both in spirit and in girth. 

Yeah, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Fat Summer just seems to be a mainstay, with me.

In fact it just plain stays on me...year after year after belly busting year.

From August 8th, 2011:


Fat Summer

It’s official.

Vacation is over and it's time to declare….

In the past we’ve had Dragon Fly Summer, due to the unusual proliferation of dragon flies in the area.

Flip Flop Summer, for they seemed to be everywhere that year, too, even though, as I said in the recent past, I disdain them for personal use due to my hairy toes.

Turtle Summer (see Dragon Fly Summer above).

Nasty Rash Summer, of which I won’t trouble you with the details.

And now.…

The moment you’ve all been waiting for…..

As 2011 2015 has been officially designated as….

 Fat Summer….

Yep...that's right....

Fat Summer....

I thought in February it could be avoided. Thought there was oodles of time (oodles?) to shed a few pounds or 15.

Thought the same in March, April even May.

But once June settled in, I knew…I was sunk.  Those 15 pounds weren’t going anywhere. 

Too many G & T's and Summer Brew enhanced sunsets on the deck.

Too many bagels and cream cheese breakfasts as I retorted.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

About August - From August 1, 2012

I couldn't help noticing that it's suddenly August; the month that creates pits in some summer folks' stomachs.  But, for the most part, August gets a bum rap...back to school ads be damned. 

Here's why... 

From August 1, 2012:


About August

The best thing about August is it’s not September…or October…or any of the other brrrrrrrrrrr months.

But they're getting close….and that makes a lot of us feel a little claustrophobic, as if the season of lilting leaves is starting to close in on us.

Yeah…I know…a little dramatic.

Some folks call it the dog days of summer....

Not sure how the dogs feel about that...let alone August.

August is actually one of the busiest vacation months there is; probably one of the nicest as well.

After a hot sweltering start, a gift passed on from its pal July, August often begins to cool a little, especially in the evenings.

The muggy haze of a sweltering mid-summer begins to give way to a succession of clear comfortable nights where the stars are just a fingertip away.

So enjoy it and stop your whining….

August is really kind of like the Wednesday of months.  Kind of stuck in a bad spot on the calendar, through no fault of its own.

I mean really, when you think about it, it’s not that much different than July…without the fireworks.

Besides...have any of us been all that thrilled with July's performance this year?


The beaches are in peak form in August. The water is warm, when you need it to be warm and cool when you need it to be cool.

August is very accommodating in that way…in a lot of ways…it has to be.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Back Attack - From May 21, 2012

It's been an interesting week, so far.  The other day, I was attacked by the propane tank I was putting in the trunk of my car, which resulted in this odd popping sound emanating from the front of my shoulder. It was kind of cool actually. I mean except for the excruciating pain that followed for a period...not to mention the semi-colon and a comma.  But I'm okay, I mean, as long as I don't use my right arm for anything.  It also makes it difficult to manipulate my mouse, which makes it difficult to type...which means I'm off the hook for at least another week.  Plus the mouse is pretty happy, as well.

Not to hog the injury spotlight, I should also mention that Z pulled her back out of whack over the weekend, as well. But, once again, she had no business bending over to pick up that grocery bag...even if it was an empty grocery bag. 

But the sliver lining is I was reminded of this little ditty from a few years back, so to speak, and thought I would take it out for another spin around the block...seeing as neither of us will be seeing the other side of the block for a few days, ourselves....

From May 21, 2012:

Back Attack

Z threw out her back on Saturday.

Yep…just got tired of it and put it out in the garage with the rest of the trash.

I told her that maybe she should have waited until she got the new one before throwing out the old one…but nope…out it went.

Actually, all kidding aside, she really did do something to her back. 

I’ve been warning her to be more careful. Not to take all those risky chances she's so fond of; but she doesn’t listen.  She just plows ahead and does crazy things like picking up that bottle of Clorox in the grocery store.


So now someone's paying the price.

I know….

But I guess it could be worse.

I mean she could be screaming and moaning A LOT more than she is.

Which would be even more annoying.

So I’m dealing….

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Back To The Beach! - From July 23, 2012

My writer seems to have lost his way and stayed back in Ireland for awhile, which is a good place for writers to stay...especially ones  who have lost their way...if you get the drift of where I've drifted to.

So, as a result, I haven't been able to get things back on track to write about vacation.  I apologize for that but I can't be held responsible for the irresponsible, inconsistent, selfish behavior of writers. Especially this one, who seems to have a mind of his own. In any case, I'm looking into replacement writers, since no one is indispensable, let alone writers...let alone this writer.  I'm sure we'll all do just fine without him, not too mention save a fortune on gin and beer.

In the meantime, since I can't, as yet, relay the tale of our most recent expedition, I thought I'd tell you about the one from 3 years ago.  It's almost the same thing...I mean, if you replace my family members with Z's family members and switch out the lush green landscape and ancient ruins of Ireland with rich ocean blue, sand and the ancient ruins of the old miniature golf's almost the same....

From July 23, 2012:


Back To The Beach!

I guess the only bad things about vacations are that they end…much too quickly.

In the blink of an eye you’re settling in, unpacking your things, and in the next, you’re packing them back up and heading home.

Still, no matter how you slice it, a week is a week is a week. That doesn’t change, but I guess our perspective does.

The more we want to savor something—like that big pistachio cone I scored at the local ice cream joint—the faster it seems to melt away, even if we do try very hard to live in the moment.

I suppose if I had actually spent more time eating the thing than philosophizing about it, the ice cream would have melted more in my mouth than in the street. But that’s just how vacations go, and besides, how many times can I apologize to one crabby lady about ice cream dripping on her toes?

As has been our wont for a gaggle of years, Z and I headed back to the beach the Saturday before last, for our annual week of fun in the sun at the Jersey Shore. 

This year we were once again able to rent the house we had shared with a group of friends for more than a decade, but had to forgo, last year, because the friends scattered in other directions. We thought about taking it ourselves but it seemed silly to have an entire house for just us…especially since all we mostly do there is sleep, eat and shower…sometimes all at the same time.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Where’s The Pool? - From June 8, 2011

I can hear the quiet out my page view stats are way under the before any more of you wander off to Dr. Oz's page of miracle cures and weight loss recipes, I thought I better put something up...old as it may be.

But as I've been saying, a lot of new folks missed out on most of these gems...and as for the old folks...well, if you're like me, you can't remember what you had for breakfast, let alone what you read 4 plus years ago.

So it's a "Win/Win" all around!

But I'm getting closer to unwrapping my brain and putting something new together about our Ireland trip.

This morning I actually opened my laptop and sat down to write...until I got distracted by a couple of e-mails and a Facebook post that offered to determine my "REAL" age.

It said I'm 34, by the way, which makes sense, except to my sometimes achy knees, which I don't  take seriously, since they're chronic complainers, anyway.

I don't know what scientific method they employ to determine such things...but here's the who am I to argue.

And now...on with the show....


Where's the Pool?

Nat King Cole sang:

Roooooooll oooooout thooooose…lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer…

Those days of soda and pretzels and beer….


One of my all-time favorites because it always reminds me of one the best things about this time of year…Barbeques, hereafter referred to in the familiar tense as BBQs in order to save unnecessary key clicking, such as I just did in order to explain it to you.

EVERYONE loves a Barbe— BBQ, especially if they’re not the ones throwing it. 
All your friends and family are there.  Even friends of family or friends of friends of friends who have families are there, gathering out in the backyard. 

Sometimes, if you’re lucky and you have rich friends from Rye, you gather around a pool, or even in the pool.  If you don’t have rich friends you can gather around a picture of a pool. Or just talk about a pool you were once in.