Friday, May 22, 2015

Unlocking The Kingdom of Keys

So by now you know I wrote this book: The Kingdom of Keys. 

I mean unless you've been chasing bears and coyotes in the woods, all week, you have to have seen at least one of the three thousand posts I've plastered over everything that moved.
And sorry...I didn't know that was your dog.... 

Yeah...even I'm sick of hearing about it...and looking at it....even though I wrote the thing. 

So let me tell YOU this one last time.... 

I promise...sort of. 

We'll see.....

So yeah...I wrote this book.

It’s a Young Adult fantasy adventure, coming of age, kind of thing.

Kind of like that other “thing” that was so popular back in the 90’s…and 2000’s…and today.

But it’s not…it’s different…and one thing has nothing to do with the other thing.

You know?

Following this?

Truth is, I actually wrote it a while ago…like 20 years, a while ago. 

And I’ve been re-writing it from time to time, ever since.

Add a comma here, invert a sentence there.  Change a topical reference…remove the dead guy…update the technology, not to mention the dialogue.

I actually called it “done done”…way back in 1996, and I started sending it around to publishers and literary agents, “Over the Transom” so to speak, as they call it in the pub biz…because people in the pub biz think they’re cool.

Anyway, “Over the Transom” means…since no one actually asked to see your manuscript, and doesn’t’ want to see your manuscript, and wants nothing to do with your manuscript, “nobodies” like me, back in the day-day-day, would go to a Publishers office and literally throw their work over the transom…which I imagine probably lead to some injuries, not to mention hard feelings.

But the hope was, once the unlucky editor regained consciousness, the first thing they would see would be your book—the greatest book ever written—and immediately want to hand you a gazillion dollars for the rights to sell it to the world.

At least in theory.

Today, it just means sending your work around un-solicited, hoping for a miracle…which is even less effective.

Okay, I’m probably selling myself a little short, even though I consider myself to be of average height. I wasn’t totally blown off.  On more than a few occasions, I was actually asked, by some big time publishers, to submit my manuscript. And I did get some nice responses; such as…“Can you tell us where you bought that great paper stock?”

But you learn not to let little things like that get to you. In fact, I’ve always said the publishing business is the only business where you gauge your worth by the quality of your rejections.

And I’ve had my share of good ones over the years. Like…

“Your YA manuscript, “The Kingdom of Keys” has been through quite a few readings, by many of our editors and was very much enjoyed by all.  Unfortunately, lunch came and someone spilled hot sauce all over it, which kind of changed the mood in the room, so I’m afraid we’re going to have to pass. However, we encourage you to seek another publisher for this fine work…preferably one with better table manners. We wish you all the best with this, and expect to swear off spicy food for the foreseeable future!”

So that was encouraging.

Eventually, after a mountain of pleasant rejections—similar in compliments, if not condiments—my “baby” like so many others, ended up locked away in a desk drawer for almost a couple of decades.

That is until now, when technology and the success enjoyed by some of my fellow writing cohorts with modern day self-publishing—not to mention a particular friend who offered encouragement and abuse on a regular basis—spurred me on to take the plunge and get the damn thing out of my drawer and out into the world…if only on an “On Demand” basis.

But it’s better than not being “out there” and who knows…maybe some folks will like it and actually make it something “In Demand”. 

Maybe even you.

Okay…I know…now I’m getting carried away.

Anyway, I think it’s a good book, and believe me, no one is more surprised by that than me. And while it’s intended for a Young Adult (12-18) audience, much like the “glasses guy”, I think it has appeal for “older” folks, as well. Especially those that have been known to march to the beat of a different drummer…or insist on wearing those peculiar socks and ties.  

I don’t have the space, here, to go into too much detail, but it’s basically about a sixteen year old boy named Toby who finds a mysterious key to a mysterious door and—

Well, it has pretty much everything…action, adventure, fantasy, humor, villains, heroes, Kings, Queens, strange creatures from an enchanted land, a multitude of laser blasts, and even a little romance - as much as an awkward sixteen year old can muster.  But, more importantly, woven within is an insightful message designed to encourage young minds—even older ones—to choose the path in life most in harmony with, not only their intellect, but also their heart and their soul.

There’s lots of plot detail about “The Kingdom of Keys” available on Amazon if you’re interested in learning more about the story…and, of course if you’d like to pick up a copy.

And I hope you do, because hoping otherwise would be pretty silly. But I especially hope that you enjoy my “baby” and will pass it on to your babies, grandbabies and even future babies, who just might discover something in there that “changes everything”.

Just like it did for me….

Check out my new YA book “The Kingdom of Keys”

Available now at 

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Sunday, May 17, 2015

Look...My New Book!

I need to renew my beach card, so I decided to write a book. I figure, if I sell 35 copies, I might be able to cover the fee.

 38 if I want to get lunch, too….

Actually, I wrote this book
“The Kingdom of Keys” - a long time ago. I just waited until now to publish it, because…well, it was time. That and the fact that nobody else would publish it earlier. But that’s a story for another day…and you can count on that, too…soon.

Still, this was my “Baby” and like any good parent, I kept it locked up in a drawer until I was ready to let it out and put it to work. You know…tough love. Anyway, if you’re a fan of Young Adult Fantasy - Action Adventure fiction…one with a pretty good message for kids who find “fitting in” something that…well, just doesn’t fit…this book’s for you…and your kids and your kid’s kids. It’s a good story; one I think will make a difference for those who need it, no matter what age they are. I know I needed it…and it helped me, just writing it.
It went up on Amazon
, just yesterday, in Softcover and Kindle, so you’re pretty much the only ones who know, right now. So be the first on your block to own your own…get ahead of the curve…be a trendsetter…out in front of the crowd. I tell you this is gonna be on cupcakes soon….and who doesn’t love cupcakes????

Anyway,  I hope you’ll “Like” it, “Share” it, “Tweet” it…and “Shout” it out to all your friends on everything and anything. And while you’re at it…even put up a review on Amazon!

I mean after you read it…and like it, of course. But you know, how could you not?

Right, right, right???

Hey, every little bit of promotion helps….

I need a new beach chair, too….


Saturday, May 16, 2015

Parts of Spring...Parts of Summer

As cold and icy as the early part of the year was, I have to admit, May’s been good to us so far.

At least around these parts…

I mean, the parts that were left over after I put the patio table together.

Those parts….

I have to remember to pick them up before “someone” trips over them again.

Anyway, it’s been nice.

Temps in the mid to upper 80s.

Even over 90 by some other parts…the ones I keep behind the garage, that I think came from something under the car…not sure.

The point being, nobody can complain about May…so far.

Unless you think it’s been too hot…and you had to drag your air conditioner out early…and wrenched your back…which prevented you from mowing your lawn…which caused your neighbors to complain…which lead to....

Well, you get the idea….maybe.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Clothing Chaos

I’m having trouble with my clothes…again.

I don’t mean style wise…that’s a given.

I’ve been sporting the same jeans, sneakers, t-shirt, sweater variation since the 70’s.

Sometimes, I’m in…sometimes I’m out…but mostly I’m just me…being comfortable.

Plus, I don’t have to put too much thought into what I’m going to wear every day.

Which Z just hollered, is obvious.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015


We live in the information age…true…but who has time for that much information.

Not me.

Do you?

I mean, do you really have time to read up on a $1,000.00 pill that treats the unnatural fear of tuna fish sandwiches…but only on white toast, without cheese…and how Justin Bieiber loves to bathe in olive oil….

Besides, with all this information floating around, there’s no way of telling what’s true and what’s not.

Like the Justin Bieber olive oil thing that I actually did make up…and now you have to message back all your friends and tell them…“False Alarm on the Bieber thing!”

Of course Justin Bieber doesn’t love bathing in olive oil…it’s vegetable oil.

What happened to the good old days when the only source of information available to us, was what we overheard our moms talking about on the phone?

Friday, May 1, 2015

The Zombies Love May Flowers

I was surprised to see the Zombies Across the Street out digging in their garden, the other day.

For obvious reasons.

Zombies tend to shy away from digging holes, of any kind, anywhere.

For obvious reasons.

Of course, it did cross my mind that they might be looking for someone who they just realized was missing.

Because when it comes to keeping track of things, Zombies are a bit on the oblivious side.

I lent one of them my bowling ball over the winter and when I asked for it back, all I got was blank stares.

Like they’d never heard of bowling, let alone a bowling ball.

So you have to be careful of that…among other things.

I mean, they’re Zombies.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Absurd’s the Word

The world is full  of absurdity.

Of which this story is a case in point.

But absurdity abounds…all around.

I mean just look at the Kardashians…need I say more.

And if you are looking at the Kardashians…need I say more.

Not helping….

Sure, there’s a lot of good programming on cable…even more so than network TV.

But there’s also a lot of absurdity as well.

I guess because there are so many outlets and so many hours to fill.

Do we really need 500 cooking shows with 3 or 4 so called “Chefs” being judged by 3 other “Chefs”?

No…I think one would do nicely. Two if you change up the format and add a fourth judge…you know, just for diversity.

How about house hunting shows?  Can’t get enough of those…especially if you live in a small, smelly studio apartment and feel bad for the couple who can’t decide between the Jacuzzi tub or the basement sauna.

Of course the “Flippers”—people not dolphins—and “Re-mods” have their own shows too.

To be honest, I was just fine with Bob and Norm…the rest just seems a little…excessive.