Friday, June 16, 2017

Oh, the Drama....








Some people love the drama.

They claim not to, but they do.

We all know them, these “Drama Peeps”.

There’s not an incident too small or insignificant that can’t be turned into some sort of personal trial.

“My shoe lace came untied just as I was on the corner, crossing the street, and that horrible countdown clock began clicking off the seconds, so I had to run across with only one tied shoelace, all the while worrying over the untied one, flapping all around as a tripping hazard. I could very easily have gotten run over by a bus.  It was awful!”

To which you might reply...

“Maybe you should look into Velcro.”

To which they’d reply, because Drama Peeps, never listen to what you have to say....

“Then...on top of all that what do I find on the bottom of my shoe....some sort of disgusting green gum, which I’m sure was packed full of horrible diseases!”

To which you might again reply...

“Did you say green gum...and what corner was this exactly?”

“Now I’m going to have to throw these perfectly good shoes away, and they’re only 6 years old...possibly 7...maybe eight.”

“Was it spearmint or something fruity?”

And on and on it goes.

It’s as if the “Drama Peeps” need the drama in order to justify their being; adding some measure of import to their day to day activities.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

The Perfect Imperfect Gift

Looking for the perfect dad day gift for the dad who has everything?

Well, then what are you doing here, messing around on-line???

But if you're looking for the perfect imperfect gift for the dad, who I'm pretty sure doesn't have this...give him a copy of "the Zombies Have Big Heads"...which is guaranteed to leave him scratching his own head...which is always fun...except at the dinner table, because it tends to be a little unappetizing....

And while you're at it, why not pick up a copy for a friend? It's a great way to introduce them to "The Freelance Retort"! 

I mean, why should you be the only one to suffer...?

Now only $7.99 Print - $3.99 Digital or $8.98 for both






A guaranteed page turner, since that’s the only way to read the whole thing.

Just sayin....





Thursday, June 8, 2017

Hidden Compartments






The thing that fails us most in youth is to realize... everyone was once young, too.

In fact, the old are no different than the young; they just keep their youth tucked away in hidden compartments only they can understand.

Toddler, pre-teen, teen, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 100 and beyond.

Every moment, every minute, every day, week and year.

Every memory, every emotion...stamped, catalogued and stored away in each of these sacred spaces.

Yeah...okay. Maybe “sacred” seems a bit over the top, melodramatic.

Perhaps, even schmaltzy.

But I think it applies, here.

What else would you call the place where the particles of your history are stored?

Youth awaits us, early on, with self-centered confidence; a world of days much too vast to contemplate.

All ours to use; never to lose.

Blowing by with endless energy and dreams.

Building, building...ever building, towards whatever we might imagine.

And before us, if we should stop to see, the old step carefully through the receding tide, stoop to pick a shell, simply admiring its miraculous twists and turns.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Who Likes “Look”?







I’ve noticed a lot of people like to say “Look”, these days....especially when the last thing they really want you to do is, you know... “Look”.

“Look”...we’ve been saying all along, yada yada yada....

“Look”...there’s absolutely nothing inconsistent with the facts...they’re the same as the ones we’ve been making up from the beginning...yada yada yada....

“Look”...I can’t emphasize enough the idea that if I smirk and say “Look” you can’t help but see just how serious I am about wanting you to believe this stuff...yada yada yada....

It’s kind of a thing.

“Look” if you can’t see that then maybe you don’t want to see it.

“Look”... am I wasting my breath, here.

“Look”...It’s all just part of the new way of saying something while you’re really saying nothing.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Growing Up in the “Now”








We all use various forms of the phrase “Growing up”.

When I was growing up....

You’re all grown up....

When I grow up....

Will you ever grow up...?

Which I get a lot.

But can we really say anyone ever really grows up?

I mean, sure, in a physical sense we get bigger and stronger...able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...yet, aren’t we always growing up, no matter what age we fall on the actuarial table?

Growing up into what we’re meant to grow up into.

Even if it’s just a guy who hangs out in the park picking lint from his belly button.

Or worse, someone else’s belly button.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

New 5 star review on Amazon for the Zombies!


https://www.amazon.com/Zombies-Have-Big-Heads-observations/dp/0998733903/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=S1W73YR4PCMH8S543B68



     "...Moloney's quick wit and amazing way with words is prominent throughout the book. It's broken up into little stories, which is nice, but I found myself reading story after story and not wanting to put it down! It's an insightful, humorous, feel good book, which we could all use more of! Bravo Brian, for another great read!"

Thanks, Dream Reader! Appreciate the nice words.

The Zombies say they can use a few more reviews...cuz, you know...Zombies are never satisfied...nor subtle....

Click Here to Order

https://www.amazon.com/Zombies-Have-Big-Heads-observations/dp/0998733903/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=S1W73YR4PCMH8S543B68





Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Kitchen Updates Upcoming








A while back, Z mentioned in passing, she thought it was time to update our kitchen.

Great, I thought. We could use a new toaster. My English muffins have been popping out a little too crispy lately.

And the dish drainer could use an update.

Let’s face it, avocado green had a good run, but has seen its day.

So why not?

Then I was informed, Z was thinking a little more “radical” in her way of “updates”.

Hmmmmm...I thought.

If it’s possible to think hmmmmm.

I’m not sure it is.

But that’s neither here nor there...which isn’t unusual.

Hmmmm...”radical” sounds a little ominous.

Is she talking about trashing our old garbage pail; the fancy one with the automatic lid opener—if you count stepping on a peddle to open it, “automatic”?

I guess we could use a new one, though, since it hasn’t actually opened “automatically”, peddle or no, in, let’s say, awhile.

I suppose I’ll still have all those crazy garbage pail memories to hold onto.