Friday, April 26, 2019

Impeachment and me








I may have been a little hasty in my rush to claim full and complete exoneration, a few weeks back.

Yeah….

Especially since full and complete pretty much mean the same thing.

Apparently, there are some obstruction of justice issues, still on the table.

Like my dirty breakfast and lunch dishes.

And possibly a late night snack or two.

Possibly.

Z said there’s no justice in that…especially since she knows I know she can’t stand a messy kitchen and I expect she’ll clean it all up in the morning.
Along with all the dirty laundry left on the floor, which Z hates, especially since most of it belongs to my friend Vladimir, who dislikes going to the laundry mat. 
Vlad say's he's above all that, and I believe hm. 
I have no reason not to.
He' was very forthright and genuine when I looked him right in the eye and asked him about it.

Friday, April 19, 2019

A Cinematic Life









When I was a kid, which some people—I won’t say who—say I still am, I liked to view my life as a movie.

Complete with soundtrack, special effects...oh, and of course, an audience.

Somewhere, out there, perhaps in a galaxy far, far away sat a rapt audience hanging on my every move.

Of course, since my daily, real life was kind of average, at best, and boring, at worst, it was important to create alternate scenarios, all of which involved some sort of secret agent work.

I mean, what better cover could there be for the world’s greatest covert hero than a suburban 5th grade Catholic school kid?

Maybe a nun; especially since they could conceal any manner of weapons under those big, baggy outfits they wore, back then.

You’d be amazed at the sheer number of items they could whip out of their sleeves, alone.

Friday, April 12, 2019

Are Black Holes Really Exciting?






Everyone’s excited about this photograph depicting the first actual view from earth of a Black Hole.
Sort of....

The so-called event horizon, beyond which even light cannot escape and where all known physical laws break down…sometimes, also referred to as The White House.

Sorry…I couldn’t resist.

According to the scientists, a black hole is the region around an extremely compact clump of matter whose intense gravitational force so powerfully distorts and warps space that you might think of it as a puncture in space itself. 

Kind of like what one of my old college roommates produced on Saturday mornings after his usual raucous Friday nights.

Originally, according to the NY Times, black holes were just one mathematical solution to Einstein’s field equations of general relativity. There was no guarantee that they corresponded to real astronomical objects.

Even Einstein was skeptical that they existed…as well as the need to tip, since he was known as a notorious cheapskate, among the other geniuses.

Friday, April 5, 2019

Completely Exonerated!







After months of endless suspicion and accusation, I’m please to say the Mueller Report has completely exonerated me!

Completely….

I can’t tell you how relieved that makes me.

Well, actually I can tell you…and in fact I probably just did.

I guess it’s just one of those weird things you say but don’t really mean.

Like… after months of endless suspicion and accusation, I’m please to say the Muller Report has completely exonerated me!

Anyway, my point is…I’m in the clear.

No more WITCH HUNT!

So I’m glad that’s over.

Because witches are pretty scary.

Especially the green ones with the brooms and weird hats.

And hopefully that “Fixer” fella will stop sending me snap chat messages asking for advice.

How should I know what color tie works best in C Block?

At least, now, I can get back to doing the people’s work.