Another soggy, rainy day in Summer 2013. Seems like there's been a lot of them this year. Some people say that's good, and some people say that's bad. I say, come what may, if you don't like the weather find a different weather guy or gal. No matter what they say, the weather does what it wants, when it wants...and apparently it doesn't vary much from year to year. You'd think we'd be used to it by now. But we're not so all we do is complain...or maybe that's just me.
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Original Post 8/17/11
As of Wednesday, tomorrow, as you're reading this, were finally supposed to be in for a nice day, all day...finally.
However, as I write this, in the gloomiest of gloomy gloamings, the rain still falls...and falls and falls.
I believe there may have been a toad or two as well, but that might have been the local politicians running for county office campaigning door to door.
So.again, that age old question persists: what does a freelance worker person do when the great outdoors is neither fit for man nor beast except, like I said, the guy running for county donut maker?
Well if you live with Z you don’t have much choice. You go to the Hallmark store and buy greeting cards for friends and relatives and even relative friends.
But you knew that.
Personally, if it were up to me, which it isn’t, I wouldn’t have any friends or relatives since buying birthday cards and such is about as compelling a task as cleaning out my gutters. And to be honest the gutters can be somewhat less demanding.
And of course we can’t just go to any Hallmark store; we have to go to the “good” hallmark store in Connecticut. You know. the place in the overcrowded shopping center, where you have to park a mile and a half away and trudge through puddles and slashing rain to get there.
Except this time we got a space pretty close to the store…but it could have been nasty.
I’m just saying.
For real….
Z will send cards to just about anybody who has a thing coming up. I personally think this is overly thoughtful of her since I am petty and subscribe to the school that you only even think of sending cards to reciprocate for those who have sent cards to you. Or in a few rare exceptions to those whom you want to send a special message of endearment, like—
“Happy Birthday, don’t forget you still have my Abba Record”.
“Happy Birthday, don’t forget you still have my Abba Record”.
Or“Sorry to hear you had your gallbladder removed, but do you expect me to be surprised?”
Well, I made that one up and I’m not even sure what it means or what a gall bladder does, or whether having one out is a big deal. But I do know, since I was actually hired to write about it once, that they can now suck it out through your belly button, which may or may not be a cool activity for a rainy day.
But I digress….
Sort of, not totally, because nowadays, they have cards for just about anything…I’m guessing even gall bladder removal. In fact I saw a whole section devoted to specific disease states, from cancer to schizophrenia.
Now I know that none of these are in any way a laughing matter, especially if it’s your specific disease state…but I don’t know, I’m not sure a card is going to do it for me. I’d rather get a cure…or at least a case of beer.
It’s kind of like if you’re hit by a bus and someone says, “Hang on, I'll get the priest!”
No offense, but I’d rather they get a doctor.
“It’s about frigging time!
Now go get your shots.”
Or
Now go get your shots.”
Or
“Guess you never saw it coming…need I say more?”
“Don’t worry; things will get better…maybe.”
Or
“Apparently you suck at what you do, but we still think you’re great!”
Cards for It....
Cards from Us…Two of Us…All of Us…Some of Us…None of Us….
Cards for Grandma, Grandpa, Cool Uncles, Weird Uncles, Aunts of every description, Godmothers, Godfathers, Rabbis, Shamans, Gurus, Imams, priests…okay now I’m afraid I’m gonna leave someone out and offend this group or that, so I’m going to stop….
But you get the idea.
And if the card companies had their way there would be a national holiday for all of these categories as well.
You know, aside from all the standards there would be Slow Footed Mailman Day, Annoying Customer Service Rep Day, Smelly Smoker Day, Much Too Happy Fast Food Guy Day, Loud Music Playing at 5 AM Newspaper Delivery Guy Day…and needless to say Obnoxious Opinionated Blogger Guy Day.
Needless to say….
Who are the "they" in the gallbladder removal para? Can just anyone do it?
ReplyDeleteOy oy. Anyway, did you hear about the ghosts who were eating grass in the cemetery? That really caught my attention until I listened more carefully and heard that it was goats who were eating the grass.