Sitting here on a rainy November morning, trying to write
something that will stick to something or someone is, I guess, a lot better
than sitting there on a rainy November morning, trying to write something that
will stick to something or someone...because at least here I don’t have to
smile all that much.
Hmmmm...I don’t think that’s it. No sticking there at all.
Which is odd because one would think that a gloomy fall
morning would foster a thread of introspection and open up the door to a
plethora of thoughtful ideas.
But that’s how one is, always the optimist, whereas two is
just thinking maybe that bagel would have been better if it had been toasted a
little bit more.
Two...never satisfied, no matter what the season.
Nahhhhh...that doesn’t do it, either. Besides, I’ve done the
one/two thing more than once...or twice...maybe even thrice.
I don’t know, well into Retort year 5, it’s becoming
harder and harder to share stuff that anyone with even half a brain would find
interesting, let alone compelling.
Not that I think any of you have half a brain...I don’t.
Wait...that came out wrong. I mean I know most of you have
more than half a brain...way more.
___________________________________
Have you picked up my new book “The Kingdom of Keys”?
No....what's up with that???
Better hurry before they're ALL GONE...which is a lie because they'll never be all gone...never....
So why not buy one just to reward my forthrightness..ness...ness?
You might even enjoy it.
And spread the word...cuz nobody else is....
Just sayin....
Available now at Amazon.com - Click Here
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I mean why else would you be reading this?
Of course if you did have only half a brain, then I’d only
have to write on half the page...maybe.
I’m not sure.
I mean, what if my half brain is incompatible with your half
brain and we’re writing and reading at cross purposes?
Then none of this would make sense to anyone.
Which maybe explains a lot.
Or what if one has a full brain, but only half of it is
plugged in at any given time.
Or two forgot to turn off the toaster again because two just
expects one to do everything.
Know what I mean?
You do? Hmmmmm...then
maybe we are in half brained sync.
Good for me but maybe not so much for you.
I mean, while perusing my stuff with only a half brain might
be somewhat conducive to your reading comprehension, it may make it difficult
to perform simple tasks such as using a fork...safely.
If you’re making sense of any of this, right now, then you
probably watched the Republican debate last night, which totally rewired your reasoning
skills.
So maybe I’m providing some sort of public service, after
all.
Maybe I’m some sort of baseline for mental acuity.
If you don’t get it...you’re good to go and will probably
lead a happy, healthy life.
And if you do get it....well, spoons work just as well as
forks...maybe even better.
I mean have you tried eating soup with a fork?
Or do you drink soup?
Or do you do both?
More of a “dreat”
kind of thing.
Or is it “earink”?
Well, I guess I should let myself go.
You know...half brain will travel.
Cuz I’m obviously not getting anything done, here...or there.
Sitting on a rainy November morning, trying to write
something that will stick to something or someone....
I don’t think this is it....
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talk about sticking...did you see the sad news about the wall of gum in seattle?
ReplyDeletehttp://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/11/seattle-says-good-bye-to-the-gum-wall.html?mid=twitter_dailyintelligencer
as for the soup, i think it depends on the kind of soup it is, your dining company,, and from what kind of bowl/cup you are eating. see. it's complicated. lotsa variables.
Well, I knew you'd get it...
DeleteI read about the Wall of gum? Even I don't get it.....
the gum wall will be back..... some things stick
Delete