Friday, March 29, 2019

Here’s an Idea









Everyone has an idea.

Except my Uncle George; at least according to my Aunt Sally. Aunt Sally always says Uncle George has no idea…no idea at all. Then she usually winks and walks away.

In any case, distant relatives aside, there are a lot of ideas floating around, so there’s a pretty good chance you’ve had one yourself…maybe more than one…maybe even a couple.

Even me…I have an idea once in a while.

Like this one…an idea about ideas.

Hey…I didn’t say it was a great idea…or even a good idea. I just said it was an idea…about ideas.

My first idea about ideas is the more you say it, or read it, the weirder it looks and sounds.


It’s just a weird word.

But you probably had no idea unless some annoying person drew your attention to it.

In fact, I have an idea you probably use the word idea quite a bit over the course of a week, if not a day.

“I had no idea you we’re lactose intolerant!”

“Anybody have an idea how to get mom off the roof?”

“Any idea how long this meatloaf’s been in the fridge…or if it is a meatloaf?”

“Wait…I just had an idea…oh…never mind….it was a dumb idea.”

To which someone, usually your boss, will inevitably think it’s a good idea to say, “Speak up, there are no dumb ideas.”

To which you might think, “Uh yeah…there are…so many…usually from you!”, but not say...which is a good idea

But I’m probably projecting, which, is a bad idea.

I do that. I project all my bad qualities onto other people, thinking they’re just like me.

Which, you have no idea how terrified that makes me…but it’s probably better not to talk about, publicly.

I also have an idea most people have no idea how to pronounce idea correctly.

A lot of us grew up thinking it’s I-DEAR.

As if you find yourself enormously endearing, which I do, but that’s not a good idea to talk about, either… publicly…for the most part….

Even after that light bulb goes off one day and you understand you aren’t as dear as you think, in most cases, and the phonetic spelling of the word suddenly falls into place and you realize there is no R to be found in I-DEA…you’ll probably continue to mispronounce it, unless you’re trying to sound smart in some public forum.

Even then, you’re not sure if you really do sound smart, because by then, like now, nothing sounds right.

Maybe there should be an R in there.

Maybe I am dear after all….

It’s also a tough word to find a definitive definition, which is pretty much one and the same thing.

If you Google idea, you’ll only find a discussion of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, which in and of itself is a pretty good idea, but really doesn’t address the matter at hand.

A deeper dive—which is one of those ever-annoying expressions someone, somewhere, thought was a great idea in which to express the act of looking further—will find you definitions such as this one from Merriam Webster:
“A transcendent entity that is a real pattern of which existing things are imperfect representations,”

Or

“An entity (such as a thought, concept, sensation, or image) actually or potentially present to consciousness.”

To which you might get the idea that perhaps you dove a little too deep, into a substance that is better left to bulls.

So, all in all, there’s no shortage of ideas to be found.


They’re everywhere.

Reach for the sky and grab one.

Kick the tires and drive it around the block awhile.

Run it up the flagpole and see if anybody salutes.

Bat it around a little.

Throw it out there and see if the cat licks it up…which, you know is kind of gross.

Watch it take wing.

Soar with eagles.

Just don’t be afraid to express it…openly…proudly and loudly.

Because if you don’t, how else will the rest of us have a chance to mock and ridicule you.

Just like you’re probably doing right now…which I have to say is pretty rude.

It was just an idea.

Damn cat…..



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4 comments:

  1. Well! that piece seemed like a good idea at first, then after reading the complete post I ended up with no idea at all. I have an idea you did it on purpose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No idea what you're talking about....

      Delete
    2. I don't really understand the Merriam Webster definition of idear. The easiest thing to do is just to ask The Man in the Street. Idear: It's something that you think. QED

      Delete
    3. Now that's an idea.
      Glad you've broken free of the Robots!

      Delete

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