Friday, April 12, 2019

Are Black Holes Really Exciting?






Everyone’s excited about this photograph depicting the first actual view from earth of a Black Hole.
Sort of....

The so-called event horizon, beyond which even light cannot escape and where all known physical laws break down…sometimes, also referred to as The White House.

Sorry…I couldn’t resist.

According to the scientists, a black hole is the region around an extremely compact clump of matter whose intense gravitational force so powerfully distorts and warps space that you might think of it as a puncture in space itself. 

Kind of like what one of my old college roommates produced on Saturday mornings after his usual raucous Friday nights.

Originally, according to the NY Times, black holes were just one mathematical solution to Einstein’s field equations of general relativity. There was no guarantee that they corresponded to real astronomical objects.

Even Einstein was skeptical that they existed…as well as the need to tip, since he was known as a notorious cheapskate, among the other geniuses.


Anyway, everyone’s all a Twitter about this photo…I mean, most everyone except my friend Lou who claims it’s pretty much the same thing he sees whenever he takes a selfie with any one of his in-laws.

I’m sure you have no idea what that means, but you don’t know Lou, like I know Lou.

I also read, I think…maybe…but don’t quote me…the bright yellow donut thing circling the black hole is actually all the poor, about to be sucked in, never to be seen again, universal matter that just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time…much like Al Franken

Things like unmatched socks, car keys, sunglasses, lunch money, laundry tickets…even Rosanne’s career.

They say these black holes are everywhere, all over the all over, and will, eventually pull everything into its big o’l donut hole of extinction.

Poof!

Just like that….

Even if you’re right in the middle of Game of Thrones Season 4…or is it 5…maybe 6.

The one with the Dragon and bloody deaths.

There’s just no telling with these Black Holes.

Very rude and unreliable, photogenic or not.

Which to me, is something we should be concerned about, more than excited about.



Did the dinosaurs get excited when some Neanderthal finally nailed a great cave drawing of the asteroid about to crash into the planet?


Beats me.

What do I know about Dinosaurs?

Or cave drawings?

Or Neanderthals?
Let alone Black Holes?

It’s the beauty of what I do, here; I don’t need to know anything…apparently.

But I do know I’m not all that thrilled with the idea of eventually being sucked into one of these Dunkin Donut specials, with or without a free Coolata…not to mention the destruction and extinction part.

Even if it is quite a ways off.

Possibly, after the next election.

And who knows what condition we’ll all be in by that time, anyway.

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3 comments:

  1. It is rumored that this photo was taken 3 years ago. That is scary, for I fear if we are sucked into this black hole, it might take 3 years before we are notified. What will we do in the meantime? I mean this is serious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would probably try and get through the restof David Foster Wallace's "Infinite Jest". Talk about your Black Hole....

      Delete
  2. Maybe I ought to follow my doc's advice when I complained (nicely, not aggressively) about the long wait in his waiting room. He suggested I bring a good book, like "War and Peace."

    ReplyDelete

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