Okay…so
Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.
Like I didn’t
know that?
Like I was born
in a barn or something?
Right…you are soooooo
off base.
It was a garage.
A two car garage.
More of a service
bay, actually…at a highway rest stop off of 84.
What can I say…I
was in a hurry.
I didn’t want to
miss one more episode of Ozzie & Harriet than I needed to.
Okay…maybe I am
trying to avoid the issue.
Valentine’s Day.
That’s right…I’m
a rhyming fool.
So cool.
I can rhyme all
day…
That’s what I
say.
Especially if it
keeps me from writing about…Valentine’s Day.
Little
cherubs….flowers…cardboard organs filled with assorted chocolates, filled with
soft, chewy centers.
Who needs it?
I get that
everyday watching Oprah.
Big deal.
And I REPEAT…this
is not about the stress and pressure associated with my 2nd grade
experience counting cards.
It was 1st
grade and I wasn’t all that accurate with my numbers yet, so I’m sure I had
more cards than the one I counted…from my grandma.
You know…the one
she forgot to sign.
And it has
absolutely nothing at all to do with the very first Valentine I bought for Z,
after we met.
It has to do with
the very first Valentine I bought for Z, before we met…between the restraining
order and our official first date.
What?
I was young. I
thought flatulence jokes were suitable for every occasion.
And yes…that was
our official first date, even if there was a mandated, locked door between us.
But who can
remember that far back…not without the monthly reminders from the probation
department.
Besides, I don’t
like to celebrate Valentine’s until the day after, anyway.
Everything’s way
cheaper then.
Cards, candy,
flowers…all half price.
Even less if you
buy from the “year old” bin
But even so, half
price or no…I do know how to do Valentine’s.
Despite the
incident with the edible underwear…that guy was wearing.
And you can ask Z
about the time I hired that glee club from the senior center to sing our
wedding song.
You’ve never
heard “Aqualung” until you’ve heard
it performed by a group of octogenarians, with flatulence issues.
See…always funny.
But this year I’m
doing it up really big.
Pulling out all
the stops.
Sparing no
expense.
And, maybe you’re
right.
But I heard
rumblings there might be a “Duck Dynasty” marathon on.
I guess I’ll have
to wait ‘til next year.
What?
Can I help it if
I’m just a big romantic at heart?
Even with a soft
chewy center.
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