Friday, June 21, 2013

Sneaky Summer Solstice

Summer snuck back in, early this morning, around 1:04 AM in these parts.

I would have missed it completely, except it dropped its keys in the front hall and then stumbled over the dog.

This was disturbing on many levels, mostly because I don’t own a dog, and two, I don’t remember giving Summer a set of keys, last fall, when it was in such a rush to get out of here.

But, maybe I did.

Who knows? 

It’s been a long, unsettling off season for everyone.

And when it comes right down to it, I suppose Summer’s no different than the rest of us. It just takes time to get acclimated, especially after being away for a while.

Maybe, now, things will start to calm down and begin to warm up in the weather department.

The beach will start to sell more day-glow wrist bands and the pleasant aroma of fired up BBQ’s will once again settle over the neighborhood.

Unless, of course, it’s my neighbor, from down the street, who thinks you can throw anything on a grill and call it a picnic.  None of us are brave enough to ask him exactly what he’s cooking, for fear of being invited to dinner, but all I can say is, those guys in the funny Hazmat  suits don’t just show up to evacuate a six block radius without good reason.

Speaking of guys in funny suits, it looks like I’m going to lose my deposit on the Druids and Cloaked Mystics, again, this year.

You might not recall, and why should you, but after about 10 years, we had to cancel the Summer Solstice party last year because of a lack of interest.  It had gotten to a point that people weren’t even watching the human degradation ritual anymore. I mean, sure, the whole thing is staged and perfectly harmless for the elected degrade-ee, but it was still pretty dramatic, especially when I was able to get the good Druids, from Connecticut, who really know what they’re doing.

Besides, if these people want a real human degradation they shouldn't have made such a stink about the selection process that time.

Sure, everyone’s on board when it’s someone else up on that altar, but as soon as the wheel stops on their number….

So, after a year without, I was absolutely certain that everyone would be looking forward to this year’s party. I even went and told my new Druid/Mystic guy, way back in November, to just go ahead and book the date.

Of course, booking that far in advance requires more than the standard deposit of Dragon’s Blood, Mugwort, Cinquefoil and Clove I used to fork over to my old, local, individual Druid & Mystic agency guys—and if you know anything about Druids and Mystics, you know how old I’m talking.

Plus, I knew going with an out of state combo place, let alone booking early, could turn out bad, but if you want real authenticity you have no choice. 

So I booked them while I could.

Then it turns out Z and almost all the female guests had a High School Reunion gathering scheduled for tonight.

I know…right?

Hey, why not just have it on Christmas Eve?

I mean it’s not like they had nearly 40 years to plan ahead, did they?

I guess I could just invite the guys…but that would just make the naked fire dance all the more awkward…not to mention unbalanced.

And without Z’s Special Solstice Hamburger Sauce, what’s the point.

So I’m canceling…again…maybe forever.

Which is fine, because I wasn’t looking forward to building another elaborate labyrinth.

No one appreciates it.

They just think I let the bushes get away from me.

I was leaning more towards the portable Stonehenge, this year, anyway.

Which reminds me, I better cancel that delivery, because, let’s face it…a Stonehenge in your front yard just looks stupid once the Solstice is over.

At least my BBQ-ing neighbor agreed to take the goats….


  1. At this solstice time of year
    Garden punch a favoured fluid
    Summer nights are pulling in
    Far too dark to be a Druid

    1. That’s the other thing about Druids…they always come empty handed. At least the Mystics bring desert….


Retort to the Retort -

“Is there anybody alive out there…”