Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Fat Summer! - From August 8, 2011

I was thinking of declaring this "Repeat Summer" since it seems that's all I've been capable of turning out here on these pages since July.  But in truth...and sometimes lies...I regret to  say, I must once again go back to the summer of 2011 and drag Fat Summer out again...both in spirit and in girth. 

Yeah, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Fat Summer just seems to be a mainstay, with me.

In fact it just plain stays on me...year after year after belly busting year.

From August 8th, 2011:


Fat Summer

It’s official.

Vacation is over and it's time to declare….

In the past we’ve had Dragon Fly Summer, due to the unusual proliferation of dragon flies in the area.

Flip Flop Summer, for they seemed to be everywhere that year, too, even though, as I said in the recent past, I disdain them for personal use due to my hairy toes.

Turtle Summer (see Dragon Fly Summer above).

Nasty Rash Summer, of which I won’t trouble you with the details.

And now.…

The moment you’ve all been waiting for…..

As 2011 was...now 2015 has been officially designated as….

 Fat Summer….

Yep...that's right....

Fat Summer....

I thought in February it could be avoided. Thought there was oodles of time (oodles?) to shed a few pounds or 15.

Thought the same in March, April even May.

But once June settled in, I knew…I was sunk.  Those 15 pounds weren’t going anywhere. 

Too many G & T's and Summer Brew enhanced sunsets on the deck.

Too many bagels and cream cheese breakfasts as I retorted.

Too many Salami and Provolone lunches on the beach; Fritos on the side, as I thought about retorting.

Famous Amos chocolate chips for desert, followed by a couple or three or four fun size Milkyway bars

Too many prosciutto mozzarella rolls, Port Wine cheese and crackers, preceding the main course of BBQ chicken or steak or lamb chops or spare ribs.
After dinner walks down to Carvels for a Black & White ice cream soda. 

So you get the idea...
Summer for me is one big Roman Bacchanalia, which is a term derived from some Greek God named Bacchus, who, if I’m not mistaken, at one time was also the cartoon voice of the nearsighted Mr. Magoo. 

So you can see why it’s important for me to shed the pounds early in the year, knowing that I will undoubtedly put on 10-15 from June to September, which is manageable. However, 10-15 on top of 10-15 is not.

I should point out that, in my mind at least, I carry it well, and as long as I remain casually un-tucked, I can disguise it…as I said, in my mind, at least.

It’s not that I’m one of those walking around with my belly in a wheelbarrow kind of guys.

Just a little mound of round across my middle.

If I suck my stomach in, which I do whenever I spot a camera, you can hardly notice it.

But don’t worry.  Once Labor Day has come and gone and the autumn cool settles in, I’ll begin the shedding process.  I’m like a snake that way. 

Because when the holidays come…there’s G & T’s and Winter Lager, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, prosciutto mozzarella rolls, shrimp cocktails, little meatballs, port wine cheese and crackers, Christmas cookies, brownies, cheese cake, M & Ms & Holiday kisses…did I mention the pepperoni and provolone.

Hmmmm…so 15 + 15 + 15…..


I’mmmmm dreeeeeaming of a Faaaaat Christmas…..   


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  1. Funny Brian - &^%$ Summer is just so unforgiving. Winter - comfort food and layering! Swap the mini chocolate bars for grilled peaches ... really!? Never heard of that, but last week I bought a bag of peaches at the store - they were called "premium peaches" - no funky worm holes or bangs and bashes in them and very sweet. Recipe on the side of the cellophane bag for skewering them and putting them on the grill. Thought I'd share since you have a penchant for grilling.

  2. I've given some thought to changing the calendar and eliminating Summer. I really don't like Summer anymore - it's too hot, too humid, too stormy. Get lost old pal. I'm also mad at Winter because I paid $800 to get the garage roof shoveled free of snow. I've told him the affair is over. That leaves Spring, always rainy and muddy, but I can live with Spring because it's not Summer. Autumn is truly the very best. A keeper.

  3. I'm going to keep both of you in mind when it's minus 10 in January and you're all buried under 10 feet of snow....

    But the peach thing sounds interesting....

  4. aside from trying to keep my running feet moving and corralling the children and the wookie, i have spent half my summer watering my gardens and saving the browning grass from complete demise.... where the heck is the rain.... we have plenty of fat to spare but raindrops are few. lots of libations and good times are worth the girth.... we will make the effort to shed out fat like rain as soon as september comes along, 15+15+15.....

    1. And on and on and on...an effort it will be...and be and be....


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