Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Pretty Smart








If you’re pretty smart you probably don’t even know it.

You’re just smart, all the time; always were...always will be.

It’s just your normal.

So why would it even occur to you to be anything other than that.

You wouldn’t walk around telling people how smart you are.

No more so than you would tell them how proficient you are at putting on your pants.

Although I have developed a pretty neat technique that reduces the number of times I have to turn my waist band around in a week.

Just sayin....

However, if you have your doubts, or if you think others have their doubts, no matter how convinced you are about you own “smartness”, you might be prone to reminding others just how smart you really are.

Which is just dumb...no matter how smart it seems to you.

And this kind of self-absorbed crowing doesn’t only apply to “smart”, it applies to just about every positive quality you believe you possess. 

If you gotta say it, chances are it ain’t happening.

Except in your own head, where it most likely belongs.

Oh, sure...you might have a suspicion you can do certain things fairly well, fairly easily.

You might even be that person who figures out the tip just by glancing at the check while everyone else is busy pulling out their phones, consulting their social survival apps.

You might be that person, but it never occurs to you because you don’t think what you do is anything special.

In fact, you think it’s just who you are.

And the fact your immediate, flawless tip calculation annoys all your friends—who just have to use their social survival apps, if only to confirm you’re correct—is a plus.
Maybe you sing or dance or juggle or walk 5 miles on your hands...or even do all three at once...for you, it’s just a normal day.

In fact, you’re kind of surprised you don’t run into more people walking on their hands.  Especially with the savings from not having to buy shoes.

How about breathing...or blinking...or anything else you do without thinking?

Would you brag about the efficiency of your autonomic nervous system?

Do you ever even give your autonomic nervous system a first thought, let alone a second?

And if you were to tell people just how wonderful your autonomic nervous system in fact is...second to none...like no other autonomic nervous system the world has ever seen. A really really great autonomic nervous system...then folks might begin to wonder about other areas of your nervous system.

Maybe even get a little nervous themselves.

So what am I trying to say here?

I don’t know...you tell me.

You’re the smart one.

But you probably don’t even know that...let alone whatever it is I’m rambling on about.

Besides, I’m still trying to figure out my lunch tip...which I will... as soon as I figure out how to open my social survival app...I mean, after I figure out how to turn on my phone....

Wait...did I just stop breathing....?




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6 comments:

  1. I must confess to becoming very tense reading this retort I even began to have involuntary nerves about it. As though the retort was subliminally exciting my autonomic pathogens (I could have been a Doctor you know?) but they accused me of exaggerating my abilities. And I couldn't convince them how smart I was.
    Hey ho, when's the next retort?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Relax...I'm sure in time, you'll come to a rhyme...something smart, as sharp as a dart....

      Delete
    2. Pin point accuracy as usual from Mr Moloney ;-)

      Delete
  2. I had to laugh all the way through. But now I'm worried about my peristalsis - maybe it's not working. And then what? I could have been a doctor too, but it was taking too much of my time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While I appreciate the laughs, it was not my intent to gum up your works...I'll try to have the next one chug along with a little less constriction...

      Delete
  3. I knew it, you have a scalpel edge in some of your comments

    ReplyDelete

Retort to the Retort -

“Is there anybody alive out there…”