Holly Jolly-Under the Weather

I’ve been a little under the weather, which is kind of a strange concept. 

I mean aren’t we all under the weather...all the time?

Unless you’re in a plane....or standing on a mountain, looking down into a stormy valley.

So just forget I mentioned anything about the weather, since it makes no sense, as weather seldom does

Did I mention I’ve been under the weather?

Which might account for some of the delirious references.

I mean the “more than usual” delirious references.

Yeah...nothing serious; just something a kid could deal with.

So I’ll be fine...once all the W’s on the keyboard stop looking like baby chickens.

I’ll fill in the details, sometime down the road...which is another strange concept, because I’d rather just tell you from here, rather than travel some undetermined distance down the road.

Seems silly.

Good news is: the angry townsfolk have given up carrying torches along with their pitchforks as they march on my house every night demanding I be thrown into the street, tied to a rail and banished forever...possibly to North Jersey.

There was an ugly incident where my neighbor, Howard, from down the street, got confused in all the hub bub and threw his torch, instead of his pitchfork and set Marcia from around the corner’s new Pontiac on fire. Then, in his embarrassment and hurry to apologize, Howard poked Esther–the local Insurance Broker–with his pitchfork, in an awkward spot and now there’s a whole neighborhood association ethics committee investigation going on.  

So now they pretty much just march on my house carrying placards the kids have been making as a Holiday art project, at school, since they seem to have tired of making Santa Tea Cups and Reindeer Cookie Plates.

At least there’s a little more color involved, along with a festive spirit, as the mob demands I be kicked to the curb and tied to a rail...or if they can’t find a suitable rail, the back of a UPS truck.

With which Z, who’s at the end of her rope with all my sniveling and whining, would happily comply...if they didn’t  show up just as Jeopardy is about to begin; every night...like clockwork.

I guess they’re more of a ”Wheel of Fortune” kind of indignant rabble.

But, now, happily, since I’ve shown a marked improvement in just a few short days, I’ve heard talk they’re thinking of disbanding as a horde and reforming as a “Caroling Cluster”.

Which might actually be worse.

I guess it all goes to show, you should never get too comfortable, because things can change on a dime. Something wicked this way comes...and never count your chickens.

None of which makes any sense, either...so it’s probably time for my Jello and my mid-day nap, which usually runs into my early evening nap.

Enjoy the holidays!

I know I am....

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