The Bubble Within

With all the important and controversial issues thrown at us every day, all day—collusion vs. illusion...obstruction vs. construction vs. destruction. Sexual predators vs. harassers vs. lousy dates and just plain stupid people. Secret societies, Fake News, partisan politics, a divided nation, head spinning Tweets, my guy vs your guy...and the Yankees trying to buy yet another championship...again...and probably succeeding. And don’t even get me started on the “evil” Belichick/Brady coven up in New England—I thought I would tell you about the difficulties I'm experiencing planning our upcoming Disney Vacation.

What?

You thought I built myself a triple layer, extra strength, double bubble living compartment for nothing? Plus, painted it with two coats of “Opaque Opal” so no one can see in, while I can’t see out, just so I can spend more time watching cable TV, while weighing the pros and cons of an all Oprah administration featuring free weight watcher memberships for everyone?

Uh uh...I’ve got real problems here, Bud.

Like trying to locate where I put those Mouse Ears I wore so well back in the 60s’.

But let me start where all pointless, self-absorbed, misinformed stories like this always start....somewhere in the middle, mostly near the end...since to start at the beginning would be a cliché, not to mention time consuming.

I’ve spent the last week making myself nuts...or more nuts...trying to decipher the secrets of Disney World and how best to enjoy a 6 day vacation there, taking into account 2 of those days involve travel.

Apparently, in this modern age of Disney, one does not just hop off the plane, buy some tickets and begin mingling with Pirates and ghosts, mice, ducks, dogs and all sorts of other fuzzy creatures as one might have done when one was last at the Magic Kingdom back when the Pentagon Papers was still an actual news story, not just a movie, and Watergate was just a sparkle in Nixon’s eye.

No...today, in order to get the most out of your Disney vacation, one is required to complete a bachelor’s degree in Disney Navigation, plus consider a Post-Graduate Masters in “Strategic Fast Pass+ Utilization in a Post-Goofy World”.  

Okay...maybe I should rephrase that since some of you Disney acolytes might be thinking something happened to Goofy or that he’d been fired for making unwanted advances towards Daisy Duck...or heaven forbid...Minnie!

What...?

I know some of what’s going on out there. I do have to step out of the bubble, once in a while, to let the cat out...especially since I don’t own a cat.

So stuff sneaks in.

No...Goofy is just fine as well as his sterling reputation as a good dog...a very good dog...yes he is...a very, very good dog...silly dog vest and unusual headwear notwithstanding.

But I seem to have wandered a bit off the point, as I often do, so maybe it would be better if I wandered back to the beginning, after all.

A few months ago my cousin offered to share some of his Disney vacation club points with Z and me, and offered us free accommodations at one of the Disney Resort hotels.

Since Z and I had often talked about a long overdue return to Disney, we took this as a sign...plus a free hotel room.

Z and I often need a good “kick in the ass” sign to do most anything that involves traveling more than a couple of hundred miles from our backyard...and something free often does the trick.

Plus, I think I only have to rotate the tires and change the oil in my cousin’s car for just a few years...I think.

Once we decided we were in, I began my quest to discover our best entertainment options, as I was told much had changed in Orlando since Cinderella’s castle stood alone amongst the isolated Orange groves that surrounded it on my original High School senior year vagabond visit back in 1972.

The first task was to figure out how many days of admission tickets I should get for our 6 day, but really, basically, 4 full day stay.

I mean there are within Disney World 4 complete theme parks.

Parks with Themes!

4 of them....

How cool is that?

We don’t want to miss anything!

Are six days of Park Hopper admissions too many, 3 not enough...4 just right?

Well, I’m not going to go into the costs of tickets here, but suffice it to say in 1972, admission cost all of $3.50. 

And on our last visit in 1981 to Disneyland, in Anaheim, our admission was a whopping $10.75...but, you know, inflation takes its toll.

So now...it’s more.

Way more.

Way way waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more.

But hey, it the happiest place on earth so you do what you have to do.

And did I mention our rooms were free?

So I spent days debating and agonizing over all of this with the energy and enthusiasm of the 17-27 year old I was on my earlier visits, worrying about losing out on all the best Fast Pass + times for all the best thrill rides and attractions, all the while, dreading I might click on the wrong button and end up with the lesser known Slow Pass - minus, where you’re required to stand in an even longer line than the regular non Fast Pass + loser line with all the people who don’t know the difference between Pluto and the aforementioned  Goofy; let alone the differences in temperament between Huey, Dewey and Louie...if they even know who Huey, Dewey and Louie are.  Then I had to figure out how many hours and miles of walking were needed to see it all...twice...in all four parks...when it finally occurred to me...hey, I’m not 17-27 years old any more!

Now...I’m also more.

Way more.

Way way waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more.

These days, a three hour trip to the Zoo requires a four hour nap to recuperate.

Changing TV channels too fast makes me dizzy and nauseous...and only if I’m lucky.

I can’t see us soarin over too many lands of Pandora or rockin and rollin on too many upside down rollercoasters.

To be honest, I’m a little worried how I’m going to handle the Country Bear Jamboree.

So I’ve come back down to earth a bit now and decided to take a more Zen like approach to the whole thing.

Whatever will be will be....

Or is that the more Doris Day like approach?

Not sure...but in either case it seems to work.

I mean, just look at Doris....

Now where could I have put those Mouse Ears? 

I just wore them to the grocery store the other day....

Or should I just spring for new Mouse ears...more up to date 21^st century Mouse Ears?

5 days or 4...does 3 makes more sense...how much pool time do we need?

And what exactly is an Epcot?

Hi Ho...Hi Ho... Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho....

Hmmmm...did I zip the bubble back up all the way???

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