The Freelance Retort: Facts is Facts

The fact is, it used to be a fact...facts were important.

Facts is facts.

In fact...the facts speak for themselves.

Just the facts, Ma’am.

Nothing but the facts.

If in doubt, in regard to any given issue or topic, which in fact are pretty much the same thing, one would always look to the facts.

Facts don’t lie.

It’s just a matter of fact.

If I say the sky is blue, some folks would agree.

It’s true...you can see it...take my word for it...a fact...right?

Uh, uh...nope...no way.

Not a fact at all.

Fact is, if you take a closer look...into the facts... the sky only appears blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light...or violet or green or yellow, or whatever your favorite color is.

That’s a fact.

It’s true.

Unless it’s sunset, when we see red and orange colors because the blue light has been scattered out and away from our line of sight.

That’s a fact, too.

You can steal it, if you want.

I did....

So don’t ask me what any of it means, because I have no idea...and if you ask me what the true color of the sky is, my head will likely explode.

Besides, none of us should have our heads turned to the sky wondering about such things since it leads to unsafe driving.

We should focus on our phones, instead.

But that’s the scientific explanation, and even if the sky looks blue to you, you have to accept the facts...because it comes from scientists...who are smart and went to school and stuff.

Not like my neighbor, Wishy Washy Wally, down the street, who thinks the sky is falling, every time he turns on cable news...any cable news.

He changes his views, more often than he changes his socks, which is at least twice a month...other than February.

Depending on what channel is on—which is usually whatever channel someone else has left on, because Wally has never been able to master the remote—Wally will form his opinions of the day.

Which is fine, as long as he’s consistent and maintains them, at least through lunch.

But, again, those are just Wally's opinions...not necessarily facts.

Opinions are opinion’s...and facts is facts, at least, you know...in my opinion.

Which is a fact.

Of course, nowadays, facts get spun or alternativized—which, in fact, is a word I just made up—to the point of unrecognizability—which, in fact, is a real word.

Is it opinion...or is it fact?

Is it fact...or is it alternative fact?

And with all “due regard” to Wally, which some might say, is open to interpretation...in their opinion...how is one to tell?

Could it be because fact is, in fact, pretty clear and simple?

Fact just feels right, inside.

Alternative fact, feels a little squirrelly inside.