Friday, November 2, 2018

Time and Again...and again...and....





October now folds into November, which slips into December that leads to an entirely new year.

Time and again and again and again.

Yet, no matter how many times we’re graced as witness, we never seem to grasp the quickening pace at which it all occurs.

As if we’re taken by surprise...time and again and again and again.
“It’s Halloween already?  Wasn’t it just Christmas and summer a week ago?”

Even though we’ve been warned—our entire life we’ve been warmed—by those who came before.

“It goes fast...enjoy every day...cherish every moment, don’t look back...full steam ahead...the future is now!”

But most of us we’re too busy to listen. Let alone take it to heart.

Yeah, I know.  Not more of this same old same old, again. Haven’t I written this story about 20 other times?

Like just last month...and probably the month or two or three before that.

Sorry....

It all seems like yesterday.

Which is the problem.


It’s just kind of stuck in my brain like a bothersome pebble buried at the bottom of my shoe.

Except with a pebble and a shoe, I can remove the shoe and shake the pebble out.

Not so much with my brain.
Which is probably for the best, since if I could literally shake all the bad stuff out my brain, I’d spend more hours shaking than sleeping.

Imagine the bloodshot eyes.

Imagine the pebbles.

So, instead, I exorcise those demons here.

Of course, I bury most of it under a heap of quips, sarcasm, silliness and Zombies.

Sure, I can talk the positive talk, from time to time...but rarely do I walk the walk.

Unless there’s a moonwalk involved, because, who can resist a good moonwalking opportunity.

But, hey...what better time to scatter demons to the cyber wind than right after Halloween?

Speaking of which...switching gears...moving on...changing subject...we had our usual turnout of Princesses knocking on our door, yet not one Prince to be found.

Does anyone else find that odd, but me?

Not sure why it matters, and it probably doesn’t, but I’m a big fan of symmetry.

However, I’m not a big fan of Halloween. 
I can never think of a good costume.

A couple of years back I tried to dress up as a responsible adult, but nobody got it.

Not sure why...I tried to be as boring and reserved as possible.

The year after that I went the other direction and pretended to be the out of control, grumpy neighbor who yells at all the kids: “Hey, you...stay off my lawn!”

But nobody got that, either...and they didn’t stay off my lawn...not until I turned on the sprinklers.

This year I decided to abandon the whole bizarre character dress up routine, altogether, and just tried to be myself.

And  nobody got that, either.

Although, I did scare a lot of kids away...even before I turned on the sprinkler.

Anyway, we still gave out close to a thousand pieces of candy.

But that’s a little misleading since they weren’t full size candy bars, which aren’t as full size as they once were when I was a kid.

Which is just as well, because I’d probably go into hyperglycemic shock if I ate a full size Snickers.

You don’t see too many full size of anything these days.

Now the candy comes in “Fun Size”, which I don’t get because what’s fun about teeny weeny candy bars?

They should really be called “Cheap Size” or, even better and more to the point “Terribly Life Crushing, Disappointment Size”.

What better way to prepare the little ones for all that lies ahead?

Ooooops!  One of those little demons just slipped out.

Sorry....

So, yeah...we gave away close to a thousand pieces of candy with only one return.

What...you don’t get returns?

Yep, one little girl dug through the candy I’d just dropped in her bucket and said, “You can keep the pack of malt balls...” and handed them back.

But I couldn’t really blame her, because who knows what a malt ball really is?

A ball of malt?

I was only giving them out because they came in the bag with all the other more edible goodies, and I didn’t want to eat them either.

But so goes Halloween along with it all the Ghouls, Goblins and Demons...at least for a while.

And now it’s on to Thanksgiving.

Which I’m looking forward to since I found a good recipe for Malt Ball stuffing.

Then Deck the Halls...and summer vacation...and....


That’s just how it goes...time and again and again and again.

“Hey, you...stay off my lawn!”

_______________________________________________

Thanks to everyone who's already picked up a copy of "The Little Red Christmas Ball"! 

I'm happy to say, a lot of folks have taken to it's fun Christmassy message and shared it with family and friends.

Join the adventure and “The Little Red Christmas Ball” will shine bright and hold tight as your family’s new holiday tradition, this year...and every year to come...

Thanks, again....



and

Or subscribe above to receive Retorts by E-Mail  



7 comments:

  1. Some rugrat had the nerve to put back their candy?!?! What is this world coming to? I used to like those malted milk balls - next year, pack 'em up and send them to me. :) Linda a/k/a Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My next door neighbors always seem to have dinner out plans on Halloween. Tough break for them. I guess just a coincidence. Wait...hmmmmmm....

      Delete
    2. Hmmm indeed! - Linda

      Delete
  2. Me too. Oh, oh, I mean me also, or is it I also? Anyway, I'm gonna make that malt ball stuffing. Do you have the recipe? Christmas is almost here, and you know what that means.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry. Grammar doesn't matter here...obviously. The recipe is simple.Pretty much the same a the Milk Dud stuffing recipe, and not much different than the one for Nonpareils. However don't confuse that for the less popular recipe that uses actual Pareils, as that's not suitable for children and certain tropical talking birds who tend to express their displeasure in inappropriate terms....

      Delete
  3. haha! Malt balls! THERE's a candy we don't see much of anymore!

    ReplyDelete

Retort to the Retort -

“Is there anybody alive out there…”