Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Tuesday Wednesday

A lot of you probably feel a bit out of sorts today, which is perfectly understandable.

Because today’s a Tuesday Wednesday.

Which makes sense because yesterday was a Monday Tuesday.

You know…because of the Sunday Monday.

This is what happens after a long three day weekend.

Unless it’s a Friday Saturday.

If it’s a Friday Saturday, you’ve got a whole other ballgame to contend with.

Unless, of course, it’s a night game.

But for the purposes of this discussion, we’ll limit ourselves to the present situation.

Whatever that may be.

Plus, I’m always in favor of limiting myself in most any situation.

Whatever that may be.

The most important thing to keep in mind throughout the course of  these bewildering 3 day holiday weekend weeks is, of course, what day to put your garbage out.

If your garbage day was Monday, then they probably moved it to Tuesday.

And if it was Tuesday, then they probably moved it to Wednesday.

But you need to know when Wednesday actually is.

That is, if they haven’t canceled your garbage day, altogether…you know, because of the holiday.

If they’ve canceled your garbage pick-up, altogether, then it won’t matter when you put it out.

Except, of course, to the Raccoons.

The other thing to be cognizant of—other than how many words I use that contain the letter Z—are your regularly scheduled appointments. 

And just to be safe, you should probably worry about your irregularly scheduled appointments, as well.

Unless of course, the person you scheduled the appointment with is as confused as you are.

Then you might be okay.

And if you were planning to watch the big Tuesday night season finale of “The Plumbers of New Jersey” tonight…you’re out of luck.

Because it’s not Tuesday…it’s Wednesday.

Unless you DVR’d it…on Monday Tuesday.

You know….

But you’re probably better off if you didn’t.

That show can mess up your head, not to mention your pipes.

Mostly because I made it up.

Like Tuesday Wednesday.

Gotta go feed my neighbor’s cat.

I do it every Thursday….

Unless it’s a holiday week.

If it’s a holiday week, I just feed the dog…..

Unless it’s a leap year.

If it’s a leap year, I just stay in bed.

Which a lot of you are probably wishing for right now….


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