I left my keys in the front door, last night…again.
But that’s okay, because the burglars appreciate it.
It saves them the trouble of having to break in.
And a happy burglar tends to be a little more careful as to
how much of a mess they leave behind.
I’ve been doing a lot of dumb things like that lately…again.
Like making coffee and forgetting to drink it.
Or putting the ice cream back in the pantry instead of the
freezer, where I put the peanut butter
At least I can still find my house.
Or at least my town.
From there somebody will usually point me in the right
direction.
Which usually works out, unless someone beeps their horn and
waves.
Waving back can get me all turned around.
So can buses….but that’s a story for another time.
Truth is: it’s not as bad as I’m making it out to be.
Whatever it is we’re talking about.
Oh yeah…my dumb things.
How could I forget that?
As I’ve said in the past…I think…it’s really not a memory
thing…more of a being present in the moment thing.
I’m usually present, but in other moments.
Like that summer at the beach when I pulled on that girl’s
bikini string by mistake.
I thought it was part of the caution flag.
It happens….
Or the time I fell into that brewery vat….
Or even the…well…never mind…no sense hashing that all up
again.
It’s just the accelerated drum of life we all race along to,
these days.
How can I expect to keep up with all the cereal selections I
have to sort through…EVERY DAY?
Or, is switching Cable carriers really the best option…or
should I just go the streaming route?
And what about my Data Plan…is it enough…or is it too much?
Why don’t I know anyone’s phone number anymore?
Is my phone getting dumber or am I?
Again, we’ve discussed this before…possibly…but it’s worth
repeating…if I could remember what the topic was.
Oh, yeah…focus…it’s all about focusing on what’s in front of
you and not worrying about what’s ahead or not ahead…or maybe already past.
Bygones….
Like where you left your check book, the last time you
actually wrote a real check…back in 1999.
And bathing suits are not
always optional at all beaches.
Plus, the self-service checkout at the grocery store is not
really a pay what you can afford based system…no more than handicap parking is
really just a suggestion, let alone provided for those who have trouble getting
into tight spaces.
These are all rules of civility and should be prioritized
and adhered to at all costs…unless you’re in a hurry, or short on cash because
you forgot to deposit your last 4 paychecks…you know, because your phone takes
lousy pictures and your bank deposit app won’t accept them…plus, you’re trying to program your DVR, also on your
phone, because you forgot to record Jeopardy…but your dumb phone is taking
forever because you’re on your last megabyte of data and why is this thing
making a ringing noise?
What’s that all about...?
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Take the sugarless shredded wheat or the raisin bran flakes. Cherrios are OK too. And don'tworryabout it. Hey, I can still find my way home. Unless it's night. You can always call 911 if you can remember the number. Otherwise,just wait it out...
ReplyDeleteI find sugarless shredded wheat harder to swallow than the cereal box, which I eat on mornings I'm extra confused. And 911 won't take my calls any more. Then later they say, oh....we didn't hear the phone...sorry....
DeleteDrink green tea if you can remember to buy some
ReplyDeleteI do have green tea...but only on the day the town flushes out the pipes...
DeleteI used to always leave my keys in the door overnight, especially in the Winter after a long bus trip home and it was freezing cold and I was just glad to be home. I'd go to leave the next morning and there they were, right where I left them, hanging in the door lock, ice cold and what an invitation for the local burglars ... guess the local burglars bungled that as they never found out. P.S. And that was in my youth. :)
ReplyDeleteThe worse is when I leave my keys in the door at the wrong house....
DeleteIn that case you just use the extra set of keys and keep your mouth shut!
Deletesometimes i leave a random kid randomly at a random place until i randomly remember one is missing.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you randomly retrieve the one that belongs to you...in a random sort of way....
Delete