Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Proclivity for Negativity

Sorry, for the weird Retort E-mail that went out the other day featuring a post from last April on
“Sage Advice”.

I don’t know why that happened.

Some glitch in the automatic mailing system, I suppose.

But it never happened before, so who knows.

Maybe I screwed something up.

Hope it didn’t annoy you too much.

I’m also sorry for the cheesy “Little Red Christmas Ball” ad that went out the other day too.

I hate to take advantage of my subscribers like that...make them think they’re getting a brand new Retort to peruse and then hit them up with a commercial for my book.

Even if I was giving it away for free.

But, hey...I’ve only got a pretty small window to promote this thing....this thing that will bring you holiday warmth, sentimentality and enjoyment for years and years to come....

So whatdya expect?

What I expect is you were annoyed and probably twice as annoyed by all the even more annoying Facebook posts about it.

Especially now that it’s not free any more.

Like it’s my fault, you were too busy making Turkey sandwiches to take a minute and get a freebie download.

But that’s just me.

Maybe you’re not annoyed at all.

Probably just ambivalent about the whole thing.

Didn’t even notice, the e-mail, the ads...whatever.

I guess that’s just me being negative again.

Negativity and I are on pretty good terms.

You might not believe it...but it’s true.

I mean as true as anything can be true.

In fact when I sat down to write this burst of inspiration on “Negativity” it occurred to me I might have been previously so inspired and done something similar in the past.

So I searched my Archive of Retorts, just to make sure...and lo and behold...even high and bedropped...there were quite a number of posts based on my proclivity for negativity.

Yeah...ridiculously so.

And if you don’t believe me just Google Negativity and Freelance Retort and you’ll find a page worth of my negative references.

A bit embarrassing.

I mean, just a page?

I would have thought there’d be several pages full of my nay sayings, by now.

But I’d be wrong...again.

Of course.

Not that I choose to focus on the negative rather than the positive.

I don’t...it’s just that my contacts are out of whack...especially this time of year.

Makes it hard to focus on anything, let alone the positive.

Plus I fall into a lot of holes.
Maybe I can find someone who has an extra pair of rose colored glasses to share.

Or at least some of their rose colored prescription pills that make them so damn happy and positive all the time.

But they’re probably too busy watching all the new Gilmore girls for the 400th time to share anything.

And don’t tell me how it ends...I still have one more season to watch.

But someone probably will.

Okay, I guess that’s just more of me being negative.

Something I intend to turn around now that the positive, festive season of joy and goodwill towards men...and possibly some of the women...is upon us.

Yeah...I know.

You’re probably right.

Page 2 coming up....

Looking for a fun, new Christmas Tradition to share with your family?

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“The Kingdom of Keys”

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  1. YOU'RE the ambivalent one Brian. Don't be. You have to market yourselfin this business. and also I loved " high and bedropped." Have faith! Soldier on!

    1. I'm trying to get Kellyanne Conway to come on board and start talking me up. I figure she'll be out of a job soon and that girl can put a positive spin on anything...and with a smile on her face!

    2. There is no such thing as too many Retorts. No matter how "negative" or whatever. For those of us who are collecting them.

  2. people come into our lives for a reason... whether here or there or on the inter-webs.. :0)
    i met these two random ladies in a bagel store last week. they were not together. they were appalled that i had shorts on even though i had just left the gym. they commented that since i was young i could handle it and i told them i wasn't really all that young. so now half the store was in on our convo and guessing my age. one of the ladies asked me if i got injections in my face and my eyes... i told her she made my day. then she told me i had great chi. i will take it. sometimes from the negative we get a positive. or even more.
    and what a blessing we all get to share in your ponderings.

    1. and by the way one of them guessed my birth year to be 1981. it really didn't make my day, but my week!

    2. Well, this is all very ponderous. First, that you live in a town that is apparently patrolled by the fashion police. I think I would have just smiled, shrugged and said hey, if you have the knees, why hide them...or something like that. As far as young and old. On the one hand, I have faithful reader Joan that just turned 90 who feels she’s not all that old, of which I'm prone to believe and admire...and you who's in the early stages of 40 who feels you're not all that young. And then me, somewhere in the middle, who feels it's getting harder and harder to remember where I put my shoes, let alone tie them. So it's nice to see this is a venue suitable for all ages. BTW, I was out hiking in my shorts just 3 shorts weeks ago. Like I said, if you have the knees, why hide them...

    3. always the pioneer and trendsetter!! and by fashion police i guess you mean...everyone has an opinion... ;0)

    4. and by pioneer and trendsetter...i mean you!

    5. Like I said, if you have the knees, why hide them...

  3. Personally I don't think you need the level of obfuscation that Kellyanne Conway will provide when back on the job market. Kellyanne Conway is not the Trump card best suited to Freelance Retorts she is far too parochial. Just keep coming. ;-)

    1. Always on point...even when more posts from the past mysteriously get e-mailed out on their own, months later. Pehaps the "Retort gods" promoting the new book. Might be wise for all the "Retorter Faithful" to pick one up and put it on their bookshelves...you know, just to keep the RG's from staying too long at tea....


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