Monday, April 2, 2012

Pushy Mosquitos

It’s Always Something

It’s April…it’s spring…it’s April!

I hope everyone had a nice April Fools day, tolerating all the fools that think they have an obligation to try and fool you. 

How many people said you were walking around with spinach in your teeth, yesterday?

Such losers…I mean unless you were, then maybe they were just trying to do you a favor like a good friend should.

But you thought they were trying to fool you, cuz moss doesn’t grow on you…at least at this time of year…so you ignored them and walked around with spinach in your teeth all day.


But the oddest thing is you don’t even like spinach, let alone recall having spinach.

So now you have to ponder that.

April Fools…who came up with that?

Speaking of fooling ourselves, which, technically, we were not, but I needed the segue…I guess it’s not going to stay 80 degrees every day from now until October.

I mean seeing as it was around 25 degrees again, just last week.

So I’m thinking that would be a no….

But all in all none of us can complain about the weather this past winter…unless you own a snow plowing business. 

But of course nothing comes without a price and now all the alarmists out there are quick, to fill up the newspapers and TV news shows with stories about all the terrible things that are going to happen to us because of the warm winter.

First of all it’s supposed to be a very bad early spring for all the people that are affected by pollen.  Apparently it’s already in full swing because of all the premature blooming going on.

But who can blame the flowers and the trees for wanting to get a jump on the warm weather.  I even broke out the shorts a couple of weeks ago myself and was already nearing mid may tan levels. Then the cold, dry weather reappeared and my entire epidermis peeled off in one complete piece, which I’ve hung on my office wall…you know, just to keep me company.  

Anyway, even if you’re not affected by pollen, it will still be a miserable spring for you because you will have to listen to all the people that are affected by pollen complaining how miserable they are, in those annoying nasally, swollen sinus voices.

So nobody wins.

Now, the latest headline is about this new aggressive breed of mosquitos that are supposedly going to invade the area in great numbers this year, all because of the warmer temps.

So that‘s all we need…pushy mosquitos.

As if the polite one weren’t bad enough.

Now we have to deal with this new breed of mosquitos who I guess like to double park, cut in line at the supermarket and tell the little league coach that their mosquito son should be starting at second base instead of the other mosquito.

According to the article I read, these new aggressive mosquitos are called “Asian Tiger Mosquitos” and can be identified by their tiger stripe gang tats and Bruce Lee T-shirts.  

The article also goes on to say that breeding sites have been identified in southern Westchester County and in Orangetown, in the southern part of Rockland County. Apparently folks from the area were complaining about the strange comings and goings of undesirable looking mosquitos who were being escorted into cheap motels by mosquitos of dubious repute.

According to the Northeastern Mosquito Control Association, which always holds their annual family picnic indoors, this new breed of obnoxious skeeter is a “container breeder”, which means anything that holds a little bit of water, even a bottle cap is a potential breeding ground.  Not surprising, since everyone enjoys a nice romantic setting by the water, no matter where it is.

These new bugs are also quite different than the old bugs in that they are known to be “Day Biters”, which to me doesn’t sound like such a bad thing.  At least in the daylight we’ll have a chance to see them coming…or at least see them going. 

Much more civil than the so called polite mosquitos who slink around in the night, pretending to be your mosquito friend before they take a piece of you.

So be afraid…be very afraid…these pushy mosquitos are coming to a barbeque near you.

They’ll be the ones hogging all the mustard….

It’s always something…..



  1. How do you decide where to invest your time and energy -- with your fine art or with your writing? You have to commit to one. Or be a mugwump!

  2. A Mugwump, eh? I’ve never been called that before. But I kind of like it….

    Well, if it weren’t for Wikipedia I might be insulted. I’m sorry to disappoint, but if by my “fine art” you’re referring to the snappy illustrations, I can’t take any credit other than selecting them from various, talented, graphic artists that share their work on line. I merely Google a phrase and voila, there they appear. The only “art” on my part is in the deciding which one works the best with what I’ve written. Many of the photos are mine, but they are hardly fine art.

    So I’m not on the fence at all; neither betwixt nor between.

    It’s all in the writing for me.

    1. Those cartoons so aptly matched your literary whimsy that I thought they flowed from the same pen. So you have chosen well to be a wordman, for that is your gift. Let us celebrate the word. It was there at the beginning.


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