Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Surveillance is Fun

A while ago I was talking about Reality TV shows and how I thought “The Blogger Bore” would be a good one.

Of course that was all in jest…sort of.

But come to think if it, most of us really are starring in our own Reality TV show and don’t even know it.

These days there are cameras everywhere.

I mean besides the ones Z had installed in the house so she can keep an eye on me.

I’m talking about all those little so called “security” cameras that are every place you go these days.

If you live in a big city, they’re probably on every street corner.  And even if you don’t, they’re still in the supermarket, at the mall, the ATM, the traffic lights, behind your neighbor's garage…even on the end of that little tube your gastro doc…well, you know.

There’s no getting away from them.

So Big Brother is actually watching.

And when Big Brother isn't watching, every Johnny and Sally on the street  corner with a mobile phone is, and posting everything on You Tube.

Even worse, now I read that Facebook has some sort of an app installed that scans every face in every photo that’s posted there, whether you’re a member or not, and assigns any tags or names associated with that photo to some super-duper data base. So if a “friend” posts that picture of you and he or she, hanging upside down while shooting the contents of a beer keg down your gullet…you’ve been tagged.

Then somewhere down the road, should your face turn up on the White House security cameras, the simple push of a button calls up not only your identity, but every photo associated with you online.

And then you get invited in to party with Joe Biden…..

Remember that embarrassing situation in front of the newsstand with the guy from Taco Bell?


How about the time the checker at the supermarket forgot to charge you for those radishes and you didn’t say anything?

On record….

Or the time your neighbor threatened to call the police because of that incident with the wasp.

Who knew there was such a thing as illegal wasp swatting?

Who knew it was enforceable?

But the whole thing is on some computer somewhere.

So I guess it’s just the next step for someone to come up with another app that will collect all the various videos and images taken of us in a day and put them all together in some sort of daily life montage. Then we’ll all be listed in the TV Guide and anyone can tune in whenever they’d like.

I’ve already started working on my theme song and opening action montage.

I don’t want to give it away…but just think “Up With People!”

I’ve also started looking for sponsors.

“This elevator ride is sponsored by Dramamine.  Dramamine...when life makes you woozy…you’re in for a doozy”

Hey, I didn’t say it made sense…..

I’m also thinking about marketing an action figure and a clothing line.

Maybe a pop-up book too!

Greeting cards…lunch boxes.

Who said surveillance was a bad thing!

Okay…gotta go. Z’s shooting those electric currents into my chair again. She doesn’t like it when I sit in one place for too long.


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  1. You have outdone yourself on this one. I never thought of all those pics being collected for good or nil. I'm putting in an order for one of your T shirts - make it small, with of course, your logo on it. The check is in the mail...

  2. I've put your picture on the 'Missing Legs' database. Apparently they even identified your decking.

  3. Because he's got decking like none other.

  4. I'm not sure I like where this conversation is going....


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