The
President is making a big push to
map the brain.
I’m not sure which
brain, but I’m sure he'll choose a good one.
There are plenty to
pick from in Washington. In fact, not too many people there would even notice if
theirs went missing.
I’m not sure how I feel
about it, though.
I mean, I’ve had enough
trouble with my own brain over the years, as I’ve documented
here.
I’ve also written
about other brain related topics, in the past, such as how, apparently, all of us have these specialized neurons in our
brain that “light
up” at just the mention or sight of certain celebrities, such as Lindsay Lohan or
Jenifer Aniston.
Nuff said….
I also chronicled
various myths
about the brain.
But I’m not sure about
mapping it.
Mapping it would just
draw a lot of attention to some of the seedier neighborhoods in there.
I don’t want a
bunch of scientist finding out about that part of my brain.
How embarrassing
is that?
Or the part of my
brain that sometimes roots for the Russians on “The Americans”.
What if my neighbors
got wind of that?
Or worse, that I might
even think that my neighbors actually are sleeper KGB agents?
So there’s that….
But I guess there
is an upside to Brain Mapping.
Just like they say
there was a definite upside to Gene mapping; although why we need to know where
everyone named Gene lives, is beyond me.
The hope is that
Brain Mapping will lead to understanding and eventually finding a cure for many
of the most debilitating diseases of the brain, such as autism, Alzheimer’s, epilepsy and schizophrenia, not to
mention blogging and any other sort of internet related social media activity.
Who can argue against
any of that…I mean, except some congressmen who would argue against apple pie
if the President said it was his favorite desert.
Maybe we could
even get Google involved and create an App for it.
They could call it “Google
Brain Maps”.
This way, if you’re
dating, when you meet someone for the first time you’ll just type in their
name, point your phone towards their head and voila…
Thinks James Carville just looks and
sounds weird.
And you immediately
know you have something in common.
It could also
provide other valuable information about this individual such as:
Doesn’t believe socks need to be
changed every day.
Partial to Ferrets.
Makes a perfect Martini.
All good things to
know.
Bottom line is, if
we have the resources and technology, why not go for it. We’ve spent a lot of money on studies with a
lot less of an upside….such as flatulent
cows.
Besides, I think
it would be pretty neat if they could find the spot in my brain that knows
where I left the keys to my 1970 Maverick.
The Maverick is
long gone but I loved that Telly Savalas key-bob that was attached….
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What if it were the IRS trying to find out about your Swiss bank accounts? I am thinking of inventing a device to block such invasions of privacy. It would be like Caller ID. Would you be willing to bankroll my invention?
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