Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Flipping Polarity




I heard the sun is flipping polarity…whatever that means.

Just what I need….

Now I suppose I’ll have to flip all my solar panels too….

I guess that explains all the crappy cloudy mornings back in August.

Even the weather is confused….

The sun…just can’t leave well enough alone.

And now I have to go to my in-laws for a BBQ. 

They’re hard enough to deal with under normal polarity…now what?

I don’t know.

I mean…really…I don’t know.

The sun is flipping polarity and nobody seems to care.

Well, just wait until they have to turn all their batteries around.

People never seem to pay attention until suddenly the problem affects them…like flipping all their batteries.

Or not….

Maybe the batteries will be fine.

I don’t know…like I said.

It’s all a little vague.

They say this happens every 11 years or so.

Really?

How come I’ve never heard of it before?

Have you?

Then again I never heard of Twerking before.

Have you?

Here are the facts—not about Twerking—right from the horse mouth, which I’ve always found an odd phrase since, to be honest, the stuff that come out of horse’s mouth can sometimes be disgusting.

“During a magnetic field reversal, the sun's polar magnetic fields weaken, go to zero and then emerge again with the opposite polarity. And this time there's a twist: Data shows that the sun's two hemispheres are oddly out of sync, with the North Pole already beginning to change and the South Pole racing to catch up. That means that for now, at least, the sun effectively has two South Poles.”


I knew it…I knew something was out of whack!

At first I thought it was those bargain shoes I bought…but now it makes perfect sense. 

The entire sun is out of whack!

And we’re not concerned about this people?

Hello?

Two South Poles?????

What next?

Maybe we can change the color to a nice lavender.

This is the sun we’re talking about!

I don’t mean to be a pessimistic alarmist—okay, I do—but what if a little matter like the sun’s polar magnetic field goes to zero…and then doesn’t come back?

Do you know what that could do to our cable reception?


I mean you do realize “Homeland” is about to return, don’t you?

And what about my tan.

It fades fast enough, come this time a year…can you imagine if there’s no sun, how quickly it’ll disappear?

There are lots and lots of questions.

Some, unlike mine, which actually make sense.

But the scientists say not to worry….


They say that eventually both poles will catch up with each other, meet for drinks and sort it all out. The sun's North Pole will show the sun’s South Pole where all the good take out places are, and the sun's South Pole will reciprocate by introducing the sun’s North Pole to all the hot super novas that hang out down there, over the winter.

So it should be okay.  They say the only people who will really feel any definite effects are astronauts, and hey…how many of us actually know any astronauts. 

I mean real astronauts, not like my neighbor Phil who claims to winter on Venus.

And if we’re really lucky this whole thing will take place at night and we won’t even know it happened.

The sun...flipping polarity....

It's always something.....







4 comments:

  1. When it comes to polarity issues there are alway pluses and minuses. Does the sun have solar caps? Bit of a hot topic for me Brian.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Me too. And Henny Penny was right after all, and never got any credit for it. .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for both of these illuminating comments. It’s time for all of us to shine some light on this disturbing issue.

      Delete
  3. You might be qualified for a new government sponsored solar energy program.
    Click here to find out if you qualify now!

    ReplyDelete

Retort to the Retort -

“Is there anybody alive out there…”