The Freelance Retort: Hard to Believe!

Original Post 6/25/11

Well, I’m outta here!

I’m rolling in the dough!

I didn’t want to say anything earlier cuz I didn’t want to jinx it, but it looks like it’s a done deal.

You’re looking at…(well not really looking at, I hope…cuz if you are I have to go change my, well, never mind)…You’re looking at the person who just cashed in, big time, for Five Million Two Hundred Thousand Buckos!!!!

You heard me…. Five Million Two Hundred Thousand Buckaroonis!!!

Pretty exciting huh?

Hard to believe…I know. But I have the OFFICIAL E-Mail from the bank that says it's 'TRUE!!!

See for yourself. Here it is in black & white..or black & blue & white...with a little splash of yellow thrown in.

Better yet, let’s look at it together….

HOHC BANK UNITED STATE OF AMERICA.

(See this is the bank. Thought I was kidding didn’t you?)
(Credit Manager) HOHC Group, New York. (Look it’s from the Credit Manager and everything!!)
HOHC Holdings Ltd, P.O. Box 60170, NY, 14270.USA
24 Hours Banking Center (Which is good to know in case you ever need an ATM)

RE: ON THE FINAL STAGE OF YOUR FUND TRANSFER.

(Final stage! I don’t really recall the other stages,but they must have been something!)

Attn: Mr. Beneficiary.

(See “Mr. Beneficiary” that’s me…the official me)

This is to inform you that the transfer completion of your $5, 200.000.00 - Five Million Two Hundred Thousand Dollars- Only will be done today, the transfer of your fund will be finalized today at exact 8: 53 GMT. (Okay who’s laughing now???)

This honorable bank (See…an HONARABLE BANK. What’s better than an HONARABLE BANK?) have received a standing order from the U.S. Department of the Treasury (that’s US of A to you!) to release your compensation Benefit Fund value at $5, 200.000.00-(Five Million Two Hundred Thousand United State Dollars-Only to you, (TO ME, MUCHO MOOLLA…TO ME!) this compensation benefit payment is released to all those whom have fallen victim of Nigeria Scam

(I swear I thought that thing was legit. I mean the guy looked like a real Prince. He even had a Crown; he wore it all the time…I mean ALL the time) therefore the President of this Country MR. BARACK OBAMA (As in Mr. Yes We Can…and Yes WE WILL!) have directed the just

elected president of Nigeria (I guess his name must have slipped his mind. Probably one of those difficult to spell names…like Roger) to compensate many that have fallen victim of frauds from Nigeria. (sad just sad)

Prior to this, we have also received an instruction from your Lawyer/partner Barrister, Mrs. Janet White (I didn’t even know I had a lawyer, let alone a partner, let alone a Barrister. How cool is that!) that the said funds be credited to the account stated below and the paying bank (HOHC BANK NEW YORK, U.S.A) has been update, (so obviously he’s a little rusty on his “elements of style”. I mean who isn’t?) ) this honorable bank therefore wish (You know, I know “professional writers” that make more typos than this guy, so just cut him a break…ok…ok? He was probably excited too!) to inform you that a final crediting will be made to your below stated account, as soon as that is done your fund transfer Voucher and Remittance Certificate alongside your transfer TELEX COPY (I mean not everyone still has a TELEX machine, now do they?) will be send to you.

Thank You In Anticipation,

(I’m so anticipational I’m sleeping in my shoes tonight... I mean my good shoes, not the ones I usually sleep in!)

Cordially,
Rev. Roy D. Marston (See he’s a Reverend and everything. And Reverends’ don’t lie…except when God tells them tto)

Director of Remittance Department.
HOHC Holdings Ltd, P.O. Box 243705 NY 34570.USA
E-mail: hoscgroupnewpork@tmail.com

(This is his E-mail. He must be realty really busy! I must have sent him a gazillion e-mails with a gazillion questions and he hasn’t had time to answer me…until now that is… Five Million Two Hundred Thousand Dollar answers, BABY BABY BABY!)