The cable guy is here, right now.
I’ve been having some problems with my internet and phone
cutting in and out over the last few months, and lately it’s been happening
every few hours…intermittently of course.
Which means…not when
he’s actually here to check it.
Only after he leaves….
But that’s okay…I don’t mind wasting 10 or 12 hours every
few weeks waiting for a “Technician” to come to my house.
I mean, after all, it is a “Technician”. I should be honored.
Right?
So the “Technician” is here right now poking around the
wires outside my house.
But like I said…he won’t find anything.
That’s what I always tell them when I call…it’s not me it’s you.
But of course they immediately instruct me to “Boot” my box,
which always hurts my foot, not to mention my box, and then, after that
fails—and why wouldn’t it—they insist on sending someone out anyway, saying it
could be a bad connection on the pole, or on the house, or in the house, or in
somebody’s house.
So they come….
And so I wait….
But they have a better system in place now, so it’s not as
disruptive to your day as it used to be.
Instead of sitting around for 10 hours, afraid to do
anything—and I mean ANYTHING—lest you
miss their knock on the door…they call
first to confirm.
Then you sit around for 10 hours, after they call, afraid to
do anything—and I mean ANYTHING—lest you miss their knock on the door….
But these days, the “Technician” also calls when he’s on his
way and tell you it’s okay to use the John.
So I can’t complain.
When the “Technician” does arrive, he greets you, warmly,
even though you detect he’s not all that pleased with the substitute Oreos, you
serve him.
What…I’m supposed to ignore the sale brand?
Then after a few minutes of small talk, and another glass of
milk—I don’t know what’s wrong with 1%...it’s better for you—he asks to see the
“madam”, which I found odd, because I don’t know what Z has to do with any of
our cable problems.
Of course, I tell him she’s at work, which doesn’t seem to
faze him—I mean, at all—because he
simply pushes past me and goes into my upstairs office, where that little
do-hickey thing with all the lights is.
I ask him if he thinks that’s where the problem is, because
I wouldn’t be surprised if it was.
He just grunts.
I tell him in the past, I suspected there was some sort of a
pattern to all the blinking lights, and that some sort of message was being
conveyed…like, “Hey…all is good,
today…make sure to bring an umbrella.”
Another grunt.
“But lately I’ve been detecting a little more attitude, and
it totally missed that late afternoon shower the other day.”
The “Technician” now un-plugs the blinking do-hickey, which
kind of makes me wince, seeing it in all its un-blinkingness, but I suppose it had it
coming. He then detaches the main cable and hooks up some sort of fancy electronic
gadget that immediately starts to flash all kinds of readings and numbers that
the “Technician” begins to hurriedly jot down.
This pleases me, because it’s obvious we’re making some sort
of headway towards pin-pointing the problem, plus he also tells me, I should
take the Packer’s minus the points this weekend and reads me an amusing comment from his Twitter feed.
He then asks me, if I’ve been having any “Pixilation”
problems, which I answer by saying, “No…not since the summer, since most of the
Pixie’s around here don’t seem to like the cool weather.”
To which he merely offers another grunt and says he’s going
to check all my “connections”, which I don’t have a problem with, as long as
that woman in Miami keeps her trap shut like we agreed.
And that’s where we left off, before he headed outside.
Oh, look. Now he’s across the street up on the pole.
Well, he’s not actually up on the pole. Right now he’s
hanging by one leg on the cable.
Look at him…swinging back and forth, waving his arms.
Such a show off…but a friendly show off.
I guess in the end it’s worth all the inconvenience and
aggravation, after all.
I mean, where else can you get this kind of entertainment?
In fact I’m gonna go make my appointment for next week,
right now.
I can already feel my “Signals” dropping.
Not good….
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Plus the occasional extra silliness and chance to compete for valuable prizes…not really
What happened to the cable techie? The last I heard, he was hanging by one leg and waving his arms around. Did he refuse help? That's one macho techie.
ReplyDeleteStill hanging on last I looked. Signal is better though...
DeleteDon't even attempt to give him a high five.
ReplyDelete