Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Questionably Rhetorical

Can somebody please tell me why people like to ask rhetorical questions?

Whoops…I just did it, didn’t I?

How does that happen?

Who knows?

I mean, we should be able to avoid it, right?

What could be simpler than that?

What the—is this?

Okay…you know I can do this…right?

Can someone tell me what’s going on, here?

Do I really have time for this?

It’s not like I can just sit here all day writing all this silliness…is it?

Oh yeah…it is, isn’t it?

Nuts…I thought that would break it for sure…didn’t you?

Maybe if I switch topics…that might help, no?

Not for nothin, I could talk about silly expressions that people use all the time, like…uhm, not for nothin…I suppose…don’t you think?

Or listen, how about silly sayings like telling people to listen, as if that will make any kind of difference in their attention span…know what I’m saying?

Oh, man…now I’m combining them, you understand?

It’s like I’m just spinning my wheels, here, isn’t it?

Look, can’t you see it’s only going from bad to worse?

And how am I supposed to know what I want you to look at?

Can you try to wrap your head around it…you can manage that, can’t you?

Do you think maybe, I’m going down the wrong path…barking up the wrong tree?

Oh no…now I’m mixing in idioms…throwing gas on the fire…are you with me on this?

Maybe if I run a few ideas up the flag pole…but that in itself is just a stupid idea, huh?

Oh, crap, now you must think I have some kind of chip on my shoulder…don’t you?

Don’t go jumping the gun…you know I didn’t mean to rub you the wrong way…right?

If you think I need to pay the piper, I will…but you had a funny feeling I was thinking that all along, right?

Okay, fine…you think I deserve a slap on the wrist, don’t you?

But if I were you I would take note of this…you’ll be sorry when I give you a taste of your own medicine…won’t you?

Because a little birdie told me, people like you are a dime a dozen…a drop in the bucket…aren’t they?

Not for nothin...I'm not sayin…I'm just sayin...you know?

Don’t worry…not to add insult to injury, but you’re sharp enough to know my bark is worse than my bite…right?

Besides, if a leopard could change his spots…who knows what that means?

It’s a toss-up, isn’t it?

Why, if I had a nickel for every blessing in disguise that dropped in my lap, life would be a piece of cake, wouldn’t it?

And wouldn’t that be a breath of fresh air…?

But you’re on to me, aren’t you?  I can see you didn’t just fall off the turnip truck….did you?

Get where I’m coming from?


  1. Yeah, I've been around the block. You know?

  2. You have highlighted a quandary and I understand completely. In fact, I am now writing a rhetorical rhyme on sailing. I am not a sailor so it should hard to find an answer as to why I would do such a thing.


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