Friday, October 17, 2014

My Facebook Anniversary - sort of

I'm feeling a little arrogant today.

Well, I should say, more arrogant than most days.

Mercury is about to enter a state of 'Cazimi' forming a Stellium.


So can you blame me?
Also, more importantly, cosmos aside...I’ve been on Facebook now for over a year.

Yeah…one whole year….plus.

Not that there was any sort of acknowledgement…let alone pastry to commemorate the event.

Even though that would have been nice.

No…the day sort of came and went without any recognition at all.

I mean, what’s the BIG deal… a year on Facebook?

Besides everyone was probably too busy posting Birthday greetings to the two thousand or so “Friends” they’ve re-discovered or uncovered, whose birthdays were previously long forgotten if they were ever known in the first place…let alone the “Friends”. 

So why would anyone take note of my feeble little Facebook anniversary date…right?

I mean, it’s not like Facebook is keeping tabs on everything I do….


Just certain pictures involving Fluffernutter.

So how has Facebook changed my life over this past year?

Well, for one, it has reintroduced me to a whole host of long, lost, unthought-of for decades, people from my past…most of whom, unfortunately, have very long memories.

But that’s okay—more than okay, actually—some of my old classmates might be planning another reunion and I’m looking forward to attending…once the Private Detective I hired to track down the date and location gets back to me.

Should be fun….

I’ve also re-connected with a couple of long ago neighborhood friends, and it’s always a challenge figuring out what they changed their identities to, every week.

I’ve also found a way to repurpose a lot of old pictures of me as a kid, that up until now I’ve only been able to share with people I managed to lock in the attic for 2 or more weeks at a time.

I know everyone’s enjoying them because of all the notices I get from the group administrators warning me to cease and desist. I guess they might be a little jealous of all the attention I’m getting.

Not my problem….

My problem is with all those baby, kid and grandkid pictures people just throw up there, wily nilly, cluttering up my timeline.

I mean those things are just “Like” magnets and really serve no purpose other than diverting attention away from my Fried Zucchini casserole posts.

I don’t mean to complain, but I should be getting a lot more “Likes” than I am.

We are talking zucchini…and what’s not to “Like” about zucchini?

I’ve also learned over the past year that you can’t post everything about your life every single minute of the day.

First, it makes driving difficult…don’t ask.

Second, you really don’t want everyone knowing where you are and what you’re doing all day, every day.

Plus there are certain aspects of my day people just don’t seem interested in…at least according to the authorities…and the FCC.

So, I’ve cut back on what I post.

No more posts of me gargling…sorry…no more.

Get over it….

No more posts of me rolling up my underwear…neither on nor off.


No more posts of me posting…unless it’s a video.

No more before and after posts of…well, before and after.


No more private messaging friends of friends in the middle of the night just to see if they’d like to be my friend too. The rate of positive engagement is not worth the effort….or the court costs.

No more groveling for “Likes” on The Freelance Report FB Page.  Now, I just pay people.  And the results are pretty consistent…sometimes they do…sometimes they don’t. It’s a crap shoot…but hey…isn’t most of life a crapshoot.

Assume the worst and you’ll never be disappointed…at least that’s what my therapist says.

Plus I’m hoping someday, she’ll like my page too…though, you know…I’m not holding my breath.

I’ve also learned sharing everything you post with government intelligence agencies is not advisable…at least in the long term.

They said it’s distracting…even though they also said they enjoy the Zombie stories

Which seems somewhat incongruous, at least to me.

Go figure…but I guess intelligence agencies are known for equivocation.

Maybe it’s code. 

So it’s been quite a year…a Facebook year. 

How has it changed me, you ask?


Right…everyone’s a kidder….I get it.

Well, I’ll tell you anyway.

Before Facebook, life was pretty straight forward. 

I got up in the morning…or afternoon…read the paper, had breakfast and wrote a little, read a little, found homes for lost kittens, worked on my recipe for pre-made peanut butter and jelly bread.

Now…I have to admit…Facebook eats up much of that time. 

I mean just trying to unblock myself from everyone’s pages everyday can take hours.

So the kittens have to wait.

Hey…do you think if I posted pictures of the kittens on my timeline, people will “Like” them?

Nah…who am I kidding. Who’s gonna “Like” pictures of kittens on Facebook?

The real truth is Facebook has widened my narrow little world and opened a brand new window of fresh perspectives into my stale life. Old friends, long thought lost, have reemerged, and it’s as if they'd never left. New friends, from all over the country and in some cases the world, have stepped right in, and it’s as if they'd always belonged.   Like minded, different minded …writers, bakers, stained glass makers…and everything in between. 

That’s how Facebook has changed my life…for the better…and for the future.

Anyway, I guess I better go and post another pizza picture, now…but, don’t worry, not the same old same old pizza.

This time I’ll make it Peppers and Mushrooms.

And would it have killed Zuckerberg to send over a few cupcakes, along with the restraining order.

 Gottta go...I think one of my moons is rising...which can be awkward in the wrong environment....

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  1. Apart from the astrological mentions which you quickly discarded, I actually love cute kittens. Moreover, as part of your legion of foreign entourage I also enjoy making questionable projections on to your 'comments box'. As for the inanity of Facebook, knowing someone has earache or in need of frontal lobotomy for posting totally uninteresting codswallop does get one down somedays. Perhaps you would like to join our self-help group we call 'FA' (Facebook Anonymous) for those who just can't face it?

    1. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying to figure out what codswallop is....

  2. I for one am very glad you made it onto facebook or I wouldn't have know that Brian Moloney (aka poison ivy boy from across the street) still existed! The last time I left you was when you were 6 years old waving sadly as we packed up and left for CT (or was that Frankie up the street?) Either way, I'm glad you're back in my life and have 54 years of catch up to do....oh and I'm sorry about the grandkid pics...just can't help it.

    1. Thanks Pami, I appreciate that. I hope this won't change anything, but I think I was waving sadly because I had just remembered I left my favorite baseball jacket-the one with all the teams flags on the front-in the back seat of your car. But I have enjoyed all the catching up. Remember the time I locked us both in the bathroom by mistake? Or maybe it was the basement. Can't remember....

    2. Mistake nothing! You knew how claustrophobic I was. Good thing your Mom rescued us!

    3. Has anyone come up with a definition of codswallop yet? I kind of like the word. After all, Boston is not only the hub of the universe, but also the home of the bean and the cod. But what is swallop? I think it is a mite sinister, especially if you say it fast, over and over.

    4. I thought "swalloping" of any kind, was illegal in Boston. Times have changed I suppose...though I'm not sure for the better. Soon there will be swalloping in the streets....

  3. the wookie loves reading about the zombies....

    1. Wookies are known for their discerning taste....

    2. as she licks the floor..... facebook has made you infamous.....


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