Tuesday, June 16, 2015

The Swoon of June

Not to repeat myself.

I mean, really...not to repeat myself.

But this June has been stupid.

Really stupid, actually.

It’s hot

It’s cold

It’s hot

It’s cold...again....

Just like my Aunt Gladys...at least according to my Uncle Pete.

He used to tell me and my cousins that, all the time, when we were about six. Usually on the nights we found him wandering the neighborhood, trying to find his house.

Not sure why.

He said he was more than a little frustrated with the whole situation....which we thought was pretty understandable.

But, like my cousin Arnold said... “If your thermostat’s giving you that much trouble, why not call the plumber?”

Which made no sense to me...whatsoever.

Especially with the rates that guy charges.

But back to June.

What’s up with June?

I mean it’s only half over, but it feel as if it’s been messing with us...well, since May.

First it looked like our lawns were pretty much toast before they ever got started. It had been so dry for so long, all everyone talked about was how much they wanted some rain.

So then it rained...and rained...and still it rains...more so than it doesn’t.

Now we’re not worrying about our lawns, so much...just the mud wallows out back that attract the rhinos.

Maybe June’s annoyed because it’s lost a lot of its luster lately. It’s no longer the go to summer month we used to anticipate all winter.

June used to mean the real start of summer, long lit evenings, the end of school, the opening of beaches and pools.

Nowadays, May steals all the start of summer hype with Memorial Day.
Talk about great PR.  

Evening storm clouds hide the sunsets.
Even the schools, due to the excessive amount of weather related off days, don’t let out until there’s barely a sliver of June left.

And who can think about beaches and pools, when all the weather dum dums are willing to risk telling us is that we might have some sun and some clouds throughout the day, with a chance of an apocalyptic thunder storm, biblical in scope...depending on where you live....with another chance of locusts and possibly frogs falling from the sky.

So yeah...that’s what you want to hear when you’re packing your sunscreen.

 I don’t know—which is probably the one thing you can actually count on—maybe that was always the case. 

Maybe when we were kids the idea of weeks and days, sunshine or rain, locusts or frogs, just didn’t matter as much.

We were living in the now—not the past, not the future—and all we knew was June was finally here...now...and all that good stuff that comes with it and lasts for months was attached...somewhere it was attached and soon we’d be wallowing in it...along with the rhinos in the mud puddles.

So maybe June isn’t so fickle, after all. Maybe June is just June, which on its worse day, is a whole lot better than January or February.

Maybe, were the fickle ones...the ones who fall all over ourselves welcoming June in, then start bitchin about it by the middle of the month when our knees are still too pale to suit us.  

Or maybe that’s just me....

Besides, tomorrow looks like it’s gonna be a beautiful beach day...followed by another day of rain...then sun again.

But first we have to get past the frogs and locusts predicted for this afternoon.

Ahhhhhh..June..it’s enough to make one swoon.

Check out my new YA book “The Kingdom of Keys”

Available now at Amazon.com 

Like" the Retorts on Facebook 


  1. Here is Michigan we are pretty much complaining about the weather as well - tonight going down to the 50s and way too much rain for me. Deluge of rain every day ... today is the nicest day we've had in awhile and already the weather folks are warning about tomorrow - you listen to the same station ... oops different state.

    1. It's all the same station, I think. Just on a 24 hr time delay....


Retort to the Retort -

“Is there anybody alive out there…”