Friday, October 7, 2011

Meandering Down Madison

There are some strange commercials on TV these days. I don’t usually watch them since I DVR just about everything in order to avoid them.

I know that’s not fair to all the Mad Men that work hard on them and come up with all those clever ideas.

But that’s too bad.

Oh, there’s the usual tidal wave of car commercials, soap, laundry & dishwashing detergents.  And don’t forget  mayonnaise, cheese and bread. Everything you need for a sandwich including the bologna…and there’s lots and lots of that.

And then there’s the new breed of cringe worthy spots for lawyers who’ll get you money, and take a little for themselves while they’re at it, for tripping over a Cheeto.

Smokers hacking up a lung then spreading it out on the table for all to see.

Hospitals competing for your resuscitation, recovery and rehabilitation business. All you have to do is remember who had the catchiest jingle as they’re loading you into the ambulance,

All sorts of nifty pharmaceuticals that’ll help you breathe better and pee less…that is if they don't kill you with all of the possible side effects they try to run by you at a 100 words a second.

There's even some sort of little blue pill that apparently helps middle age people bathe better. 
You know, the ones where an “experienced” couple are raking leaves or something, brush up against each other, then somehow end up watching the sunset from a cliff somewhere, in a pair of matching bathtubs.

I mean I’m all in favor of sunsets…and bathing, but I’m not sure if I need a pill of any sort to enjoy either.

Besides, I’m more of a shower person.

So these are the images kids of today are storing away in their little brains; the nostalgia of tomorrow.

“Hey, remember the old dudes in the bathtubs?”

“Yeah, I loved that jingle!”

No…they won’t be able to pull up all the great memories we have filed away. We have the market cornered…so to speak...when it comes to jingles and characters because….

Choo Choo Charlie was an engineer,
Choo Choo Charlie had a train we hear,
he had an engine and it sure was fun,
he used good n plenty candy to make the train run….

And if I asked you what Charlie says next…I’m betting you would know….

How about Speedy Alka-Seltzer, that poor little fellow with the odd stomach malformation and poor taste in headwear?

Plop Plop fizz fizz….

Can’t resist finishing it, can you?

And then there was the now politically incorrect…
Aye, yii, yii, yiiii,
I am the Frito Bandito.
I like Frito's Corn Chips,
I love them I do.
I want Frito's Corn Chips,
I'll get them from you.

And who wasn’t Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs?

Or doesn’t know that Trix are for kids….

And which laundry detergent…is stronger than dirt…

Who among us doesn’t know these things?

Tony the Tiger, still going Greeeeeeeeeat!, even at his advanced years.

Charlie, the Tuna, always with good taste, but not good tasting tuna

Keebler Elves, infesting the trees in your backyard with their cookie factories.

But the cookies were good....

Snap Crackle Pop, doing who knows what in your cereal bowl.

Pop N Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy, who can’t resist being poked, which was a little disturbing to watch.

Cap’n Crunch…and on and on and on….

And then there are the human icons…

Mr. Whipple and his strange perversion for squeezing toilet paper. But in all fairness, it was squeezably soft.

Rosie the Waitress and her odd compulsion for annoying diners by dunking paper towels into glasses of water…and making them watch.

I wonder which “quicker picker upper” she was actually on at the time.

I mean it was the 60's.
Madge the manicurist who was eventually arrested on fraud charges for substituting dishwashing liquid for actual skin conditioner.

Who’s soaking in it now, Madge?

The ever popular Gunilla Knutsson, who encouraged us to take it off, take it alllll off….

The Maytag Repairman, the loneliest guy in town.

And, how’d you like a nice Hawaiian Punch?

Ask any mermaid you happen to see…What’s the best tuna?

Because that would be my first thought when seeing a mermaid.

 Look ma….. No cavities!

“Billy! How many times have I told you about walking around town with your mouth open?”

Betcha can’t eat just one?

Always a bridesmaid, but never a bride

Besides…I’d rather fight than switch.

Because…it’s just a silly millimeter longer.

Is it live or is it….?

Yipes Stripes…!

Strong enough for a man but made for a woman…

Double your pleasure….. double your fun.

We try harder...

Does she or doesn’t she?

When it rains… pours.

Let your fingers do the walking.


Put a tiger in your tank.

You can trust your car to the man that wears the star....

As you...see the USA in your Chevrolet.

And it goes without saying…

There’s always room for Jell-O.

And of course, everyone knows…

 A little dab’ll do ya.

And don’t you forget it….

How could you?

Okay…gotta go. There’s a Flowbee infomercial marathon coming on….

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