Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Strangest Week of the Year

This week— the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day— is always the strangest week of the year. No one knows what to do with it…or themselves.

Some like to sit around and check out all those 2011 Top Ten lists that come out this time of year, which makes sense, since to make a Top Ten list for the year back in February or March would be presumptuous.

You know, all those 2011 Top Ten Movies, TV Shows, Books, CDs…Famous Dead People.

Imagine how tough it must be to be number 11 on the Famous Dead People list?
So close…. 

Just bad timing really....

Who knew Flipper was so sick?
You can catch up with old friends you haven’t seen in a year for lunch and discover that you really have nothing to say to them, even after a year, which is why you haven’t seen them in a year in the first place.
Still, you appreciate that they tell you look good and haven’t changed, plus the fact that they don’t mention the eight inch hair growing out of your right ear that you forgot to trim this year.
So there’s that….
Some folks like to use this transition week to go on vacation—skiing or sunning—which is nice if you can swing it. Others just hang out at home and watch football and old movies.

And then there are those that actually have to go to work. But even then, there’s usually not much work to be done since most of the people that you usually deal with in the course of a day are out vacationing or at home watching football and old movies.

So you sit around the office and basically have another paid vacation week, in the office.

Also, not bad….

Of course there are some folks who really do have to work. I mean actually work and earn their paychecks. The ones we really depend on to keep the engines running. Like nurses, police, fire, or anyone who actually provides a public service for the greater good.

I mean those half cap de caf mochachino aren’t gonna make themselves.

But for the rest of us, it’s kind of like being neither here nor there.

Or in Secaucus….

The one BIG thing I have to do today is to get over to the Calendar Store and pick up my 50% off calendars. I refuse to pay full price for a calendar. So I wait and cross my fingers that all my favorites will still be there, right where I hid them back in August...behind the “Wives of Newt” section.

My whole year hinges on it; otherwise I won’t know when to go to the beach.

Or I could make my own top ten “Top Ten” list like:

1.   The top ten Tuesdays that ended in odd numbers…and there was a chance for a late day shower.

2.   The top ten movies I meant to see but didn’t and then forgot their names when they came on cable…so I missed them again.

I could make that list…or—

3.   The top ten pretzels I ate on a Thursday…not including nuggets.

4.   The top ten 100 year storms we’ve had this year.

5.   The top tdn tipos I’ve mode.

6.   The top ten books I meant to read but couldn’t because I’m still trying to get through “House of the Seven Gables”, which I began in 1982.

7.   The top ten Rigatoni I’ve enjoyed.

And not bowls of Rigatoni; I mean each individual Rigatoni because every Rigatoni has its own unique story.

8.   The top ten names I’ve forgotten…if I could…you know…remember them.

9.   The top ten blogs I’ve written, of which this is most definitely not one.

And finally….

10.  The top ten internet solicitations I’ve received from my legions of internet fans.

Here’s the latest entry that might just grab the prize.  

Hi lonely man!

You are lonely? I too! You search for the partner for life and for creation of family. That we have the common problem. Can solve to us this problem together! And we can exchange the photos. I tell a little about myself: My name is Marina. To me of 30 years old, mine height of 170 centimeters and I weigh 66 kg. Average constitution. I have hair blonde and green eyes. I hope to see your letter.


Doesn’t she have just the most endearing way with words? I wish I knew the metric system better. I'm particularly entranced by the fact that she has an average constitution. Because, and I know it’s shallow of me, but who want someone with a less than average constitution.

Not me.

I hope she got my flowers…..

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  1. i actually need another week to catch up on catching up.... and i also want to know who the internet solicitors that a job title? perhaps they all set up shop in an office building in the meadowlands, but only if they are of average constitution...
    happy new year, brian!

  2. Happy New Year to you too, Nicole!
    The Meadowlands is a good guess. I believe they also work the beer concessions on game day….


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