I had my blood drawn about a month ago.
I wanted it painted, but that was more and my insurance wouldn’t cover
it....
The guy who drew it was named Ed.
Nice guy but I would have preferred someone named René or Anton; you know
more of an artist’s name.
But Ed did a good job. The large bruise on my forearm still looks like Charles de
Gaulle.
I was hoping for FDR but de Gaulle is growing on me....
Literally….
This was the 3rd time in 6 months that they took some of my
blood and I’m still not used to the odd looks I get every time they see it. Like no one else’s blood is so sticky it can
stand up on its own…outside the test tube.
Actually that’s not true…not any more.
Since my earlier medical adventures, I’ve been working on lowering my
cholesterol and its way down from the initial reading back in January, which
was in multiples of 25 or something.
Now it’s only in multiples of 10.
No, actually the overall number is down from 260 to 197 in total. If you
know about such matters, that’s a good thing.
Triglycerides down from a high of 226 to …wait for it…75.
I know….
That’s an important one cuz it’s tied in to how much alcohol you may or may
not have consumed over a period of time…or afternoon.
So you can see I’ve been a good boy…for the most part.
I’ve switched to the smaller strap on beer sack.
I have to give a lot of credit to Z for the good numbers. She’s got me on a
diet with lots and lots of fruit, fish and vegetables.
But it seems to be working, plus I dropped a few more pounds, which
apparently always works as well.
Being of Aries persuasion, I was anxious to get the tests results back
before I spoke to the doc so I called the nurse and asked for a sneak preview.
When she called back I was a little disappointed because even though some
of the numbers were lower, the HDL/LDL ratio thing was still north and south of
the respective norms. For some reason, the nurse, who sounded to me like she
was suggesting I go price eternity suits, said
the doc would want me to go on a low dose cholesterol med, and that I
should make an appointment to discuss it
with him.
This took all the wind from my feel good sails because, to be honest, I
thought I was getting text book numbers back all around. I wasn’t sure what
more I could do on my own.
So for a week I debated, back and forth with myself, and any other
unfortunate person that would listen, whether or not I wanted to go on some
sort of medication for the rest of my life, not to mention screw around with
the natural functions of my organs. They
hate that, my organs, and their not shy about telling me so.
I mean the numbers weren’t all that far over the line. Besides, what’s a
10% chance of having a cardiac event in the next 10 years; I mean doesn’t that
mean I have a 90% chance of not having one?
But I know how I am and the summer of indulgence was upon us so I thought,
what the hell, just take the pill.
Of course, once I resign myself to anything, fate has a way of stepping in
and changing the program on me. When the doc came into the exam room, he had a
big smile on his face and was telling me how impressed he was with my improved
results.
For a second I thought he was referring to my improved performance on level
2 of Donkey Kong, which I finally mastered after 25 years, but then I didn’t
think he would have known about that.
When I told him I was disappointed that all the numbers weren’t perfect, he
smiled and told me I was pretty hard on myself.
That as long as they were moving in the right direction I should be
happy.
Then he suggested I keep on doing what I’d been doing, and also try some
natural cholesterol lowering supplements and things should pretty much fall
into place.
This was a bit surprising since it was kind of a 180 degree reversal of
what he was suggesting back in January, when my numbers were submitted to Guinness for World Record verification. He explained that back then the numbers were
so out of whack—being that I hadn’t had them checked in well, let’s say forever—that
he didn’t think diet and exercise would make that big a difference.
But I guess I’m proof that it does, so now I take some kind of big ’ol horse
pills that have something in them from plants and things that’s supposed to
help block the bad stuff from getting into your arteries. I also nibble on a pine tree down the block whenever I pass
by…and my neighbor’s not looking.
I’m also taking fish oil pills, which are supposed to do all kinds of good
things for you including improve memory function, complexion, hair, joint
pain…and some other stuff I can’t recall, despite the pills.
Of course I also look a little bit more like a carp than I used to, but
life’s a negotiation…right?
I’m kidding…I don’t look at all like a fish…and you can hardly spot the new
set of gills under my arms.
Plus I float much better in the ocean than I used to, despite the filmy
outline my body leaves behind, bouncing on the waves, which, to be honest,
is kind of cool.
It really makes people scratch their heads…among other things.
So I’m on the road to a long healthy life as long as I avoid the buses and
don’t choke on a pine cone…again.
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Plus the occasional extra silliness and chance to compete for valuable prizes…not really.
I had mine drawn 3 days ago, and the area looks like a replica of the virgin. The only one left. Anyway, I had quit Atorvastatin, a generic of Lipitor, entirely on my own. I explained to the doctor that I wanted to know how I was doing sans medication. You see, I follow Z's recommendations too. So I await the outcome of this latest blood drawing. The doctor, on hearing my explanation, just squinted his eyes at me and said: WE SHALL SEE.
ReplyDeleteYou’ve already set the bar so high for the rest of us, I’m sure it will work out for you without the meds. I actually do feel a lot better now that I’ve lost some weight and improved my diet. Not that I felt all that bad before, but I notice I have more energy and less aches and pains. Plus the bags under my eyes are only the size of carry-ons now. Summer is a temptress, however. If I can make to the fall I should be okay…until the holidays.
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