Friday, January 18, 2013

Nothings What it Seems…it seems

A lot going on in the news today, not the least of which is the big story out of Australia.

Yep…some dude got cheated out of an inch on his foot long Subway the other day.

Actually, probably most days…but who’s counting.

Well, yeah, on second thought…maybe that is the least of it.

Apparently this one guy…and now, maybe a lot more, because he posted his evidence on Facebook…and now…you know…a BIG uproar…over an extra bite of sandwich.

I mean doesn’t the world have bigger things to worry about other than lunch?

Like has Manti Te'o's ever really been kissed.

Apparently not.

And it’s not like this Subway “scandal” is big news to some people.

Some people have been measuring their foot longs for years.

But does anybody actually count the tomatoes…I mean other than me?

Besides, maybe it’s the ruler that’s too long, rather than the sandwhich too short.

Has anyone ever considered that?

And actually been allowed out to actually buy a sandwich?

I don’t know…I like my Subways and an inch less here or there is probably a good thing over time.

It means an inch less on my waistline, over time…at least if you discount the Mallomars.

But how often do you find discounted Mallomars?

Not often.

But they’re Mallomars, the best cookie in the world—pure chocolate…sort of—so why would you.

It’s not like Subway is the only product out there fudging the accuracy line.

I mean do we actually have verifiable proof that KFC is really “Finger Lickin Good”?


Is there one among us who has not had an M&M melt in their hand?

Can I really have it ‘My Way” at Burger King…I mean any way?

Do Cocoa Puffs really make you cuckoo?

Is Folgers in your cup really the best part of waking up?

Is Maxwell House really good to the last drop… the really last drop…ever?

Does Motel Six actually leave the light on?

Do four out of five dentists really agree…on anything?

Did a little dab really do ya?

Is Lance Armstrong really sorry he cheated.

Which brings us back to…has Manti Te'o's ever really been kissed…by anybody?

And on and on it goes….

You get the idea.

Nothing’s what you think it is.

So get over it.

Move on.

Maybe eat a salad for a change.

But don’t count the lettuce.

Just the tomatoes.


  1. The news is so frightening I just might cut it from my routine. Now it's time to stockpile water and food because of the volcanoes in Iceland. They might go off all at once, causing global disaster. How does anyone sleep at night? Ask NOVA. They are never wrong, are they???

    1. I’m just not up on my Icelandic news, at least not as much as I should be. Although, I am a fan of cubism....


      However, the volcanos all blowing at once indicates a lack of originality…at least to me.

      I just don’t NOVA what to tell you


      Sunday morning…you know?


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