Last time I told you about meeting up with a bunch of old grammar school classmates.
Now, as an extra added conveyance back to the past, here are some notable scribblings from my graduation autograph book; proof of sorts that these people really did exist.
If you ever went to Catholic school back in the 60's, this will look familiar to you, as will, I'm sure, many of the sentiments scratched on it's colorful pages.
Hey, what more could you expect from a bunch of super cool, 14 year old, pre-hippie, hipsters.
We begin with Adolpho who, I believe, was the first clever person, ever, to think of calling me "Brian Baloney". While obviously one of our more creative wits, Adolpho took a blow to the head from a batted baseball during our 7th grade field trip, and subsequently developed an insatiable appetite for paper. He went on to work in recycling.
I believe Bobby struggled to find success in the field of alternative poetry. His work, while genius, was badly misunderstood.
Phil remains a close friend to this day and continues to take up way too much space. It's rumored that he went on to form a "Secret Society" so clandestine that no one, including himself, could remember were it's secret headquarters were. It ultimately disbanded since no one could attend the meetings.
John...always concise and to the point. He also has a terrible memory for names...and faces...and places....
Artie went on to a career in motivational speaking.
True on both counts....
Wow...I really must have been a great kid. Veronica was the mysterious massage/yoga therapist from the past and the party that dragged us into all of this. However she did not beat any of us up...no mater how hard we tried.
Mike too went into the motivational speaking business with Artie.
Much to Z's chagrin, I did keep my great personality, at least until the courts got involved. I heard Gail may have moved to Antarctica, where she found living in an igloo to be exhilarating. She also found penguins to be great conversationalists....
I don't like to brag, but I really knew how to work a a math class with the ladies. What I could do with square roots was almost criminal...and actually is in some southern states.
I know several people who would dispute that. I am exactly as dumb as I look....
I'm a little concerned about Lynn's definition of the word "Funny"...always have been.
Wait...how did this one get in here...?
Back then, Joanne was and from what I understand, still is as slim and fit as they come. The problem was I was still working on my "game" back then and I was stuck in my Don Rickles phase...which I expect will end sometime soon.
Enough said....
Again...what more is there to say.....
Optometry has come a long way since the late 60's
You probably think Pam means that odd singer from the late 60s who tipped toed through the tulips.
No...actually, I did a great imitation of Tiny Tim, from "A Christmas Carol". People were known to weep for days after a performance, which is why I wasn't invited to many parties.
She was kidding...right...right? I mean she says she's kidding...right there on the page...right? But sometimes people say they're kidding when they're not kidding, just so you think their kidding...but they're not...kidding. But I would think she was kidding. I mean if I ever gave it any thought, that's what I would think...which I haven't because, what's it matter...now? I mean it would be crazy if this kind of thing kept me up at night wondering. Right? Crazy, Right?
Besides I think she was kidding...it says so right there...K-I-D-D-I-N-G....
And we close out the book the way it began, with two great minds thinking alike.....
No kidding......
Gotta go. A bell just rang, which means I have to go walk around the hall in a circle, for some odd reason. Some kind of Pavlovian response I've never been able to shake.
_________________________________
Available now at Amazon.com - Click Here
Like" the Retorts on Facebook
Or subscribe above to receive Retorts by E-Mail
These are priceless. You're lucky your mother didn't toss this memorabilia out like my mother did after I flew the nest. She even threw out my pig embryo which was happily floating in a glass vial. I really miss Salome.
ReplyDeleteMy mom's house is like a museum. I think Salome is there too!
Deletei LOVE things like this.....i don't know what ever happened to my books like that..... did you notice that mostly everyone used "you're" wrong?
ReplyDeleteI still do!
Deletebut your a writer!
Delete(there it is....you know you saw it...)