Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Negative Dwelling

I’ve been pretty down lately.

Nothing seems to go right.

But I know I bring that kind of thing on myself.

So I think it’s in my best interest to try and be more positive.

I’m not saying I like to dwell in the negative.

But I like to dwell in the negative.


That was bad.

I shouldn’t have said I don’t like to dwell in the negative and then go right ahead and say it anyway.

Now I feel bad.

But I shouldn’t…because that would be negative.

Not easy, huh?

Or maybe I should say, it’s potentially challenging, but I know I’ll persevere.

But then I wouldn’t have many friends.

Because no one like to hear that sort of thing.



What I meant to say was I totally expect this fungus behind my ears to clear up some day…

 See…now that’s positive.

And then I expect my friends will talk to me again.

Not so hard….

I mean, this is easier than I expected!

I bet that blue stuff on the last two slices of bread is extra nutritious.

Plus it goes well with the green stuff growing on the ham.

It probably won’t make me sick for more than a week…maybe two.

I mean that’s how I should see things.

But I don’t….

I won’t….

I can’t…..

It’s just not in my nature.

That glass isn’t half full.

That glass has a crack in it and will probably slice my finger open.

I’m not even thinking about making a sandwich because I KNOW we don’t have any bread, and if we do it’s probably stale.

Because I was supposed go to the store and buy it...and that never goes well.

The way I see it, a stitch in time doesn’t save nine.  A stitch in time means I have another a frigging hole in my pants…probably from the same broken half empty glass that cut my finger.

And even if I did get up early, like some dumb bird, I’m not catching the worm…because that would just be disgusting?

When I hear one door closing, someone probably just stole my TV.

The only thing we have to fear is people telling us we have nothing to fear…and Justin Bieber.

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up and making sure no one knows about it, which we’re good at because it happens more often than not.

If you give me a fish, I won’t eat it because I don’t like fish, and if you knew anything about me you would know that…so get that damn fishing rod out of my face.

Ahhhh…I’m glad I got that out of my system.

I feel a lot better now.

But I know it won’t last….

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  1. Today is World Vegetarian Day! Eat a rutabaga. You'll be glad you did.

    1. I have trouble eating foods with funny names....

  2. You are not alone with your negativity Brian.
    From our impression over here the GOP is at least one degree under right now. Good article anyway. I hope have replaced that glass so you can get a half empty refill soon.

    1. Yes, I bought a shorter glass so half will look like more....

  3. Less is more, I always say.


Retort to the Retort -

“Is there anybody alive out there…”