Friday, October 4, 2013

Refrigerator Blindness





I have Refrigerator Blindness…maybe you do too.

I’m not actually sure if it’s a real thing, because I just made it up, but I guess now it is.

So if you have it, now you know what to call it.

Refrigerator Blindness.

For real.

I wouldn’t make it up.

Refrigerator Blindness is that thing that happens when you’re looking for one specific item in the refrigerator—something obscure, say, like milk—and you can’t find it.

You look everywhere moving this and that like some giant, sliding puzzle, and it’s just not there.

Then you cry out in a plaintiff tone, appropriate to the situation, to whomever else might be listening and say…."We’re out of milk!”

To which, whomever, trudges into the kitchen, sporting a sour disposition, way out of line, given the grave nature of the event, shoves you aside, moves one single item…and there’s the milk…right there…next to the mayonnaise, that you also hadn’t seen for a week, possibly two.

“Well, how was I supposed to see it behind the pickles?” you say…a perfectly valid argument.

“Oh look…there’s the butter. I've missed the butter….”

Refrigerator blindness.

Z calls it a guy thing.

I call it a stupid thing. 

It has nothing to do with gender.  Some people just can’t seem to see what’s right in front of them.

Like your keys.

Or your shoes.

Glasses…on the top of your head, or worse…that you’re wearing.

“Now, where did I leave my toothbrush?”

“Have you seen the car?”

I don’t know…which goes without saying, because if I did, I wouldn't be writing any of this

I guess it’s a kind of distraction thing.

I have a lot on mind these days…what with the new phone and the new Facebook page.

What’s that Poke feature all about?

How can my phone really know how old Henry Winkler is?

I mean these are big issues.

And then someone goes and puts the milk behind the pickles.

I mean who does that?

Truth is I think some sort of frisky spirits are in play here.I think they took the milk and then put it back while I was whining.
Same with the keys and the shoes.

I mean, after all, how could they possibly have be sitting right, in plain sight, all this time, while I’m running all around the house looking for them all the while thinking:

I wonder if they could have fallen in the toilet….

Maybe I left them behind the boiler….

It’s the only explanation I can think of…other than Z’s, who say’s I just don’t look.

Of course I look….I’m looking right now.

I’m sure my laptop is around here someplace.

It’ll turn up.

Maybe it’s in the refrigerator….behind the milk.


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2 comments:

  1. Yes, you got it right. It really was gonzo, no matter how long you looked and moved stuff around. IT WAS NOT THERE... and then it was. It is a mystery which happens to me all the time. You know who I always blame- those folk from Ireland, the Little People,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The little people can be so small some time….

      Delete

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