I don’t like to complain…too much.
I like to complain way too much.
That’s just how it is.
That’s just how I am.
What…now I should complain about that too?
Complaining is one of life’s great pastimes.
“Why does it have to snow…on a Tuesday….”
“Look how flimsy this shovel is….”
“The sun is way too bright in the morning….”
“These eggs are too runny….”
“This bacon is too crisp….”
“That waitress looks at me funny….”
Of course one could make the argument that I’m not really complaining at all.
I’m just sayin….
Just observing the miserable situations and conditions I have to put up with every single day!!!!
Of course the opposite of complaining is to take some sort of action—any action—to correct the intolerable situation.
One could accept that the weather and short order cooks are beyond their immediate control.
They could move to Florida or, even better, Hawaii.
Or complain…which I suppose is an action unto itself…one would say.
The thing about complaining, though, is that it doesn’t take as much effort as all the other choices.
I can complain in my sleep…and I’m told I often do.
“I can’t believe someone put cats in my suitcase! This is the worst dream I’ve ever had!”
Can you blame me?
Who wants to listen to that... all the time?
Again…I’m just sayin….
I mean have you listened to the quality of other people’s complaints.
Pretty poor if you ask me.
And that’s the thing…if you complain all the time…about EVERYTHING… you devalue your legitimate complaints…like the one about that woman on the local news who talks through her nose.
Or— too many of my Mallomars are lopsided!
Or—too many people on TV wear purple!
Or—too many trees are too tall...and have way too many leaves!
All legitimate complaints.
All important issues that hopefully will be addressed by the people I wrote those letters...to.
So I’m not just sitting here complaining…I’m doing something about it.
I’m waiting for the other people to do something about it…if they ever take the time to read my letters…which they never do.
Thanks to all the new folks who’ve recently signed up for “Retorts by Mail”. Just as a reminder, you’ll need to return a verification E-mail in order for your subscription to begin, so make sure to look for that in your in-box or junk mail folder, if you don’t receive it right away. It’s a pain, I know, but it helps to keep the Robots out, which is necessary, mostly because they have terrible table manners.
Also, if you enjoy the Retort, do me a favor and click on the "Like" button, up top on the right, and "Like" the FLR Facebook Page. It’s kind of sad right now but if I get 14 more I think I can put in for a football....
If you don't like it, please click the same button...but with a negative attitude. Thanks....
Or Now you can just
—"Like" is much too much of a commitment—