The Tao of LOL

 

 

 

 

 

I get LOL’d a lot.

Which, if you’re trying to write funny, is a good thing.

If I were getting tears and sobs…that would be bad.

The thing is…I really don’t like the LOL.

LOL!

Not because I have anything against the people that use it, or that I think it’s particularly silly….
 

It’s just been somewhat abused and overused…if you know what I mean.

LOL!

People will LOL even when they have no reason to LOL.

They’ll say, “The cat just threw up in my hat…LOL!”

“Just saw my Podiatrist. Things have been better, but they could be worse. Think of all the money I’ll be saving on shoes…LOL!”

“Grandma’s gone missing, again…hope she turns up before Thanksgiving cuz who’s gonna cook the turkey…LOL!”

And of course you can always turn that up a notch, when things get really funny.

When things get really funny you can ROFL…or even ROFLOL…which usually leads to hip displacements, especially if you’re over 40.

If you’re under 40, you just look odd…or worse, sound odd…because, let’s face it…can anyone really verify that you actually are ROFL…or even ROFLOL…or even worse… ROFLOLBAG…and worst still…ROFPML…which nobody wants to see…and I can’t even believe I just wrote that, right here, in a family setting…that is if your family is anything like mine.

And of course, now, for people like me that have a problem with LOL…(LOL!)…there’s hahhahahaha….

Or just ha, if you’re only mildly amused.

If you’re very amused you can go with HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

You can also go with the more subdued heheheheheheheheheeh…which is kind of the equivalent of the small little chuckle you give your weird Uncle Al, with the mole that resembles Winston Churchill, whenever he tells his Dunkin Donuts story at Sunday dinner.

And now people are just making stuff up…like this sinister laugh of some sort, mwahhahhahhahwahaahh…or something like that.

Like I said, they’re making stuff up.

Or WOO WOO and its derivative WOOT WOOT…which means something…not sure what.

Maybe that they just sat on a chess piece….most likely the rook.

LOL!

Then they might respond WTF…which I believe means “where’s the football”…which is what I would say too, if I sat on a rook.

Unless they’re Canadian, in which case they would most likely say WTP or “where’s the puck”…you know, because Canadians like hockey.

LOL!

And of course these things are also a time and type saver…like when you can say K…instead of the more difficult, time consuming OK.

K?

So basically you can make an acronym out of anything….

Or should I say YCMAAOOA?

There are actually pages and pages of them on-line, most of which, again, you would never say in a public forum such as this.

I mean, I didn’t even get out of the A’s before I nearly blushed myself to death.

LOL!

BTW…or should I say “Bring the Wipes”—which has never made sense to me but people seem to use it in this context—the real purpose of the LOL..I mean other than to say I’m overwhelmingly hilarious…when you get right down to it, is for people to let you know, they’re really just kidding…or JK…which is shorter, but not used as much as the ubiquitous LOL.

LOL!

“I think you dress like a tramp steamer...LOL!”

“Who cuts your hair…Edward Scissorhands…LOL?”

 

“This bean dip is just what I needed to get regular again…LOL!”

Then if you do happen to get tired of acronyms…you can slip right into the emoticons, which I happen to use frequently to express my state of mind.  

I actually carry a bunch of them around with me to use whenever I’m talking to people face to face. You have no idea how many awkward situations that's saved me.

And you can say practically anything to anybody as long as you use a winky emoticon to accentutate your meaning.

Well, I mean as long as they’re not wearing a badge, or a robe, or a hat or a jacket, or gloves…shoes, socks, glasses….

LOL!

See…that means—

Oh, never mind…if you don’t know by now you’re probably weren’t asked to bring the potato salad to the Mensa meeting this weekend.

I know I wasn't.....

LOL!

 

__________________________________

 "Like" the Retorts on Facebook
 
Or just Tolerate them ...if "Like" is too much of a commitment



Follow @FreelanceRetort on Twitter    Tweet


Or subscribe above to receive Retorts by E-Mail

I know...too many options. Probably better to just go back to bed....

 

For the latest Retorts: Click here 



Retort to the Retort – FreelanceRetort@gmail.com