Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Universal Retribution

So I was good to my word and ignored Labor Day…sort of.

I mean it was still there, gnawing away at the back of my brain, like the annoying little squirrel that gnaws at my tomatoes, even while they’re still on the vine.

Just sits there and eats the bottom half and then moves on, like it’s his personal tomato drive thru.

But for the most part I ignored it, just like I ignore the squirrel.

The weekend started out okay. A nice sunny Saturday at the beach with some friends, later followed up with drinks and dinner, a pretty sunset and a spectacular starlit Tappan Zee evening on the edge of the Hudson.

Sunday was okay too, not great, but more than acceptable; a nice day to stay at home, take a walk and putter around the house.

Well, Z putters; I mostly sputter.

Z spent much of the afternoon dead heading in the garden.

I have no reason to doubt this but I found it strange since I never knew she was a Jerry Garcia fan.

Not even Cherry Garcia.

But I think I screwed up again; I think I pissed Labor Day off….or the Universe on Labor Day’s behalf.  Just like I screwed up so many other things this year with my proclamations.

Like June…

Remember…I screwed that up too…the whole month.

I keep forgetting the power I have with this stuff and the universal responsibility that comes along with that.

Words are powerful things; mine especially…apparently.

Who would have thought the Universe was an avid reader of blogs…especially my silly blog.

But I guess it keeps tabs on all of them.

Maybe it has a bunch of smaller universes monitoring all these things. Then they file a report and the Big Universe steps in and takes action when it deems it necessary.

I’m thinking that’s probably more how it works.

I can’t imagine the Big Universe is going to take the time to read my posts 3 times a week, let alone give a bunch of flunky universes any kind of actionable discretion to dish out retribution.

I mean that would be kind of chaotic, don’t you think?  Some little universe with a chip on its shoulder, because it didn’t get upgraded to a level 2 universe at the last universal review, creating havoc over some silly, but well intentioned blog.

Anyway, I’m sure you’re universally lost by now and have no idea where I’m going with this.

What I mean is, while I was ignoring Labor Day, Labor Day was not ignoring me; at least where I was sitting…literally.

And if you were sitting nearby, it spilled on you too.


What was predicted to be a nice warm sunny summer day turned into a cool, cloudy breezy mess of a day.

The wind was blowing out of the northeast, which means off the water, which means a cool, cloudy breezy mess of a day.

I know…hey, it happens. It’s just weather…not universal vengeance.

But here’s the thing: just to the north and east of here, it was a beautiful sunny day.

While I’m texting friends on eastern Long Island, how dreary and weary it was back here, they’re texting me back how they don’t want to hear it because they’re too busy laying out in the bright warm sunshine.

Tell me that’s not retribution.

And if you were south or west of that line, you were as dreary and weary as I was…and you had no idea why.

Me…that’s why.


I’ll try to be better.

I promise.

Sort of….


  1. The lesser universes have made a list of your transgressions, and have submitted it to a study committee. It will lie there for the duration.

    1. Just as I suspected....

      Probably gonna be there for awhile.


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