Friday, September 28, 2012

Lost Whimsy

I lost my whimsy.

All of it...gone.

I’m not sure where.

I’m thinking I may have left it behind at Starbucks the other day.

I remember putting it down on the chair next to me…so I guess I might have just left it behind when I ran out of there.

Which is a problem….

Because my whimsy loves lo-fat vanilla lattes.


And when my whimsy gets over caffeinated …well, you end up with things like Zombies and Skinny Jeans…and this.

Until you end up scratching your head a lot.

So I thought I would give you a heads up.

You deserve it.

Of course, I’m sure you could tell I lost my whole sense of humor back around mid-august.

I don’t have a clue what happened to that.

Possibly too many strawberry daiquiris.

Or maybe it was the Milky Ways.

Not sure.

I just know that I went to wake it up one morning and it was gone.

Not even a note.

But at least I still had my whimsy, so I thought I could get by on that.

But now that’s gone I’m pretty much screwed.

Oh sure…some of the cleverness is still there, but that only gets me into trouble on its own.

That’s how cleverness is…smug…cocky.

No one likes clever…not without a little whimsy to soften the edges.

Still, I suppose it could’ve been worse.

I could’ve lost my pride again…like the time I left it at Wall-Mart, when I bought that combination foot deodorizer and mildew remover.

Hey, my feet were a problem back then…what did you expect me to do?

So I lost my pride at Wal-Mart.

But I got it back when they had a two for one sale on ear and nose trimmers.

Then there was the time I lost my sense of direction…I mean completely lost it.

So I spent a lot of time driving around strange cities in strange states I had no intention of ever visiting.

It was weird.

Of course this was before I lost my pride so I couldn’t stop and ask for directions either.

Eventually, I downloaded a GPS, named Michelle, onto my phone, which circumvented the problem…or recalculated it as Michelle likes to say.

So what do you think happens then? 

You guessed it…my sense of direction shows up, hat in hand, all weepy and apologetic.

Like I’m just supposed to welcome it back with open arms?

I don’t think so.

Besides, Michelle and I have a little bit of a thing going on…and I don’t want to mess that up.

So I’m still content to do without it…at least for a while.

Who knows…maybe forever.

So what if I have trouble finding the men’s room in restaurants?

I get there eventually…usually in time.

So that’s where I am….I mean I think I am.

Never really sure….

Like I said, I thought you should know.

I’m pretty cetain my whimsy will come back, sooner or later.

I mean whimsy alone doesn’t get very far.

Just ask Todd Mariatti….


See what I’m saying…..




  1. It's hiding under a corner of the rug in the sunroom. Lift the rug up, and who knows what else you'll find? Maybe the Missing Link or Jimmy Hoffa. As I say, who knows?

    1. I’m afraid I’ll find one or more of my in-laws there, left over from last Thanksgiving….


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