Halloween Candy Cover-up

I just broke into the Halloween Snickers bag.

Shhhhhhhhhh…don’t tell anybody…especially Z.

And to be honest it wasn’t really a Halloween Snickers bag, per se.

It was more of a combo bag of all kinds of candy…3 Musketeers, Baby Ruth, Twix and multiple others, too many to mention.

But I only copped 2 Snickers…maybe 4.

So that’s really not that bad at all.

Besides, they were right out there in plain sight—in the basement, in the back of the laundry room…under the dryer,

So how was I not supposed to be tempted?

Right?

Especially since I was in a little bit of a sugar deficit, due to not eating all that much during the day, due to trying to lose the ten pounds or so—maybe 15—that I put on over the summer.

You know, the same ones I took off in the spring.

So it’s not entirely my fault; Z might as well just dangle them in front of me on a stick; like that time she tricked me out the door and locked me out of the house…for 8 years.

It’s just a hard season?

Our natural primal instinct is to fatten up for the long cold winter ahead.

I mean, who knows; what if the conditions get real bad and we have to live off of our own stored body sustenance…at least until we can shovel out and get up to McDonalds?

I might just be looking for those 10 or 15 pounds of Big Mac reserves come January.

You never know….

You never know…..

And it’s not like it’s the only bag of Halloween candy sitting down there.

We have about 10 of them.

Yeah, over a thousand pieces of candy, which will be gone by 8 PM, come Halloween.

I’ve written in the past  how overrun our neighborhood gets on Halloween. Once word got out that there were actual ghouls in residence, you couldn’t keep the kids away, which I always found odd since you would think it should have the opposite effect.

It just goes to show how things are changing. Everyone is more tolerant with everything, these days…even the un-dead.

I guess that’s how it should be.

I mean the un-dead are people too…or were.

And while over a thousand pieces of candy may sound like a lot, it’s really not, considering the circumstances.

I start out by giving each kid that rings the bell 3 or 4 pieces and take 5 or 6 for myself.

If we have a rush, I cut back to 2 pieces for the Trick or Treaters and only take 6 or 7 for myself.

So you can see how it can all go pretty fast.

How could I not grab a few little treats for myself, now, less than a week before the big day?

Who would begrudge me that?

Seriously…who?

Besides I’m pretty sure Z will never even find out about it.

It’s not like I haven’t had that weird orange ink from those anti-theft exploding dye packs all over myself before.

In fact I still have some on me from last Halloween.

I wonder how the Twix are this year?

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