The Lull after Christmas

The days following Christmas are usually pretty quiet…excepting of course the tumble and fumble of returning and exchanging gifts, cashing in gift cards and taking advantage of the after Christmas 70% off sales that began at 12:01 AM Christmas Day.

Dinner will hold…I mean this is a 40 thousand dollar TV I’m picking up at Target for only 35 thousand…at least that’s what my credit card account statement is telling me.

I just don’t recall ordering it though.

But it’s right there on my credit card, so I must have.

They're not gonna hold it for me forever.

But I guess that’s what the confusion of the holidays will do to you.

I’m also hoping my gastrointestinal system will normalize…at least after the Lipo.

 There’s just too much eating and drinking during the holidays.

I mean I haven’t stopped since the Druids brought that keg of home brew last Saturday.

Christmas Eve with my mom, nephews and niece, assorted wives and significant others, followed up with Christmas Day with more nephews and nieces, assorted spouses and significant others…not to forget all the in-laws and out-laws.

Then dinner—again—last night, out with originally mentioned nephews and niece, along with Irish cousin, Mags, the family consigliore, and husband James the family psychiatrist, who carries insanity certification papers that he fills out on an as needed basis so the authorities will cut us a break when things get out of hand…plus they’re good for 10% off of our dinner bill…as long as we promise not to come back, which is fine because after a couple of years most places forget.

But I guess that’s how it goes during the holidays.

Not that anyone is forcing any of it down my throat…I mean, except for the Druids.

But that’s just their way.

So at least today I get a break from the Merrymaking.

Except for lunch with friend, Janey, later this afternoon.

Then I’m done…until Sunday dinner with more In-laws…and then I’m really done…until New Year’s Eve with some more friends, which should put a cap on it all…until New Year’s Day, when all the nephews and nieces, assorted spouses and significant others…not to forget all the in-laws and out-laws…come to our place.

Followed by additional Lipo…scheduled for next Thursday.

But other than all of that…it’s the lull after Christmas.

Hey, I didn’t say it was a long lull.

I mean how long can a person lock themselves in the bathroom?

For the latest Retorts: Click here

Tweet Follow @FreelanceRetort

Share this on Facebook

Tolerate the Retorts on Facebook
—"Like" is much too much of a commitment—