Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Clothing Chaos

I’m having trouble with my clothes…again.

I don’t mean style wise…that’s a given.

I’ve been sporting the same jeans, sneakers, t-shirt, sweater variation since the 70’s.

Sometimes, I’m in…sometimes I’m out…but mostly I’m just me…being comfortable.

Plus, I don’t have to put too much thought into what I’m going to wear every day.

Which Z just hollered, is obvious.

But she’s jealous.

Z has a regular “real” job and has to dress up every day.

Even when I had regular “real” jobs in regular “real” offices, I was fortunate because it was always some sort of creative endeavor, which allowed for casual clothes, long before “Casual Fridays” became a thing.

See, when you’re in a creative position people are one, afraid to even look at you too closely...and two, expect you’re too busy creating “something” to put on nice clothes…or even change your underwear once a month.

At least that’s what they think. The truth is, most of us change our underwear regularly, usually once a week—or two—usually when we shower…for the most part.

And it’s not because we’re too busy “creating”…no, that’s just a myth. 

Yeah I said it…a myth.

Creative people are not always lost in their heads trying to come up with the next great idea.

That’s just what the union wants you to believe. 

The fact is creative people are often lost just looking at another person’s head, wondering what great idea they’re thinking about, that’s better than theirs.

And when they’re not thinking that…they’re usually just wondering what they’re gonna have for lunch that day…even though they always order soup.

Don’t ask….

But I’ve gotten off track, here.

Such a surprise!

What I meant to talk about was the chaos my clothes have been bringing me, lately.

Like when I go to put my pants on in the morning; one leg is always inside out…and I’m never sure which one is right.

And it’s not until I have them on that I notice.

Think about it….

My T-shirts always go on inside out as well.

But that’s okay, since my sweater hides that; and who can tell if a sweater’s inside out?

Same thing with my socks.

Truth is, I kind of like the fuzzy side out…so who’s fooling who?

Am I right…am I right?

So there’s something going on…a haberdashery of conspiracy, or something.

 Luckily, my sneakers aren’t in on it.

But my shoe laces are.

They never untie themselves, so I always have to struggle with getting the double knots out, first thing, every morning.

And then they think it’s “oh, so amusing” to tie themselves together…to each other….which is what tying themselves together means. 

Do I have to explain everything?

I guess I do…at least, that’s what the doctor says.

But I don’t give my shoe laces the satisfaction of knowing they’re messing with me. I pretend I don’t notice…at least until I have to drive somewhere…usually to buy soup.

Then it gets a little tricky.

But that’s more because of the inside out pant leg thing than the conniving shoe lace thing.

So you can see what I’m dealing with.

And you think it’s weird that creative people dress the way they do?


Gotta go…my winter coat is plotting with my mittens to figure out a way to get back at me for sticking them up in the cedar closet for the summer.

It’s never ending.




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  1. I fully understand your dilemma. Having spoken with a neurological expert on your condition we agree that you suffer from a condition as tested on the Attention-Related Cognitive Errors Scale (ARCES) (Great acronym don't you think?) But in truth it is not much to concern yourself with. It is a real mental condition brought on by chronic boredom. Only the other day I myself poured salt down my back and scratched my french fries. Probably caused by the fact that everybody else at the table was texting or updating their FB. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  2. Great post Brian. I believe we call dressing like this (because I do it too) being a "free spirit"?! Since I started working from home - anything goes. I live by myself, so no one raises eyebrows, snorts or points at me and says "really?" anymore. Maybe I need someone to do that and I'd dress to impress more. I went from working at the ad agency where anything goes to a staid law firm where women had to wear skirt suits (no pants allowed) and the attorneys were chastised if they went to the convenience store on the 1st floor for a pack of gum without their suit jacket on. Then to working just with Robb where all that was needed was nimble fingers attached to the end of the keyboard - no dress code whatsoever. I've become sooooooooo lazy re: dressing up. The dilemma with the Winter coat and mittens - it was 45 degrees when I left for a walk this morning - I still have not taken the Winter coats/woolens to the cleaners yet - it is Michigan after all, where you have your furnace on in the a.m. and the A/C on in the p.m. I hesitated and could not bear to go back to them so opted to freeze instead.

    1. Nice to read that real power has little to do 'Power Dressing'. Time was when class distinction depend wholly on appearances. Brave new world of "who cares what I wear".

    2. That's so true - the younger me agonized over each article of clothing and accessory to wear ... it's so much easier now. I'm glad my clothes don't wage wars with me though - that was an angry pair of shoelaces .... grrrr!

  3. simplicity.... i wish i had a personal shopper for when i need stuff though...i find a shirt i like and get it in three colors.... i wear the same old jeans, the same old birkenstocks, and same old shirt.... the alternative leaves way too many options. simplicity, again.

    1. This article has certainly highlighted some real issues on dressing and clothing. I thought at first it was about lack of concentration/absentmindedness but now I see the potential for a more ulterior aspect of meltdown whilst dressing or acquiring new clothes.Something sinister is happening and we must thank Brian for bringing it to our attention.Can anybody help further?

  4. I was just wondering why half my pants were inside out....

  5. Probably that's why Linda's staid law firm didn't allow pants. Half inside out makes it hard to escape in case of fire. But I'm surprised that chewing gum was allowed, aren't you? I'd hate to see the underside of those chairs.

  6. I think that while creative people have a little more freedom when it comes to expressing themselves through their clothing, they do still have to consider the mindset of their clients when they are pitching or doing proposals. They do have to look competent and even their choice of colours or patterns can affect how they are perceived as artists, dancers or writers.

    Sherita @ Astute Promotions


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