We live in the information age…true…but who has time for
that much information.
Not me.
Do you?
I mean, do you really have time to read up on a $1,000.00
pill that treats the unnatural fear of tuna fish sandwiches…but only on white
toast, without cheese…and how Justin Bieiber loves to bathe in olive oil….
Besides, with all this information floating around, there’s
no way of telling what’s true and what’s not.
Like the Justin Bieber olive oil thing that I actually did
make up…and now you have to message back all your friends and tell them…“False Alarm on the Bieber thing!”
Of course Justin Bieber doesn’t love bathing in olive
oil…it’s vegetable oil.
What happened to the good old days when the only source of
information available to us, was what we overheard our moms talking about on the phone?
Of course, we only picked up half the conversation, and
therefore only half the information, so we usually ended up making the other
half up when we relayed the story on to our own friends.
“Someone—I
think, the lady whose cousin is that guy who works at the hardware store—has a
problem, I think with her washing machine, because she has a dirty little something,
which she’s been keeping for years…and now she’s trying to fix it with some guy
she met at the bowling alley—or something to do with bowling balls, or gutters
of some kind—who I guess repairs appliances, because sooner or later, she’s
gonna have all new parts, and a firm howdoyoudo if she keep going down the road
she’s going down, now. You know….?”
To which your friends would respond…
“Yeah,
ya gotta be careful when you hook up new appliances—or hook up something—at
least that’s what my dad says when he’s talking to my Uncle after they tied
something on, someplace with someone,
somewhere….”
So, yeah…the information may have gotten a bit convoluted,
but at least it required some thought in the telling.
Today, everything is right out there, in color and most
likely on video…10 minutes after it happens.
Whether or not it’s true or not get sorted out later.
If there’s bowling involved we see bowling.
If new parts are involved, repaired, augmented or replaced,
we see diagrams and eye witness accounts from all parties involved.
Scroll down your Twitter or Facebook feeds and pages upon
pages will fill your waking hours—sometimes your sleeping ones too—with all
kind of useless information…just a click away.
Nothing is left to the imagination.
And while in some instances that’s probably a good thing…it
can certainly ruin a good story.
Especially the ones involving Olive Oil….
Oh wait…look…here’s a story about Madonna’s old boyfriend’s
secret closet…with pictures!
And would you look at this…Joe Biden’s Guide to Awkward Moments!
Mickey Mouse… the true story… Minnie tells all!
Gotta go…I’m never gonna catch up with all of this….
MaryAnn reveals…Gilligan had everyone fooled…especially me!
Jerry Mathers Reveals the Contents of Beavers Secret Hiding
Place….
How do I save this stuff?
Google should know….
Check out my new YA book “The Kingdom of Keys”
Available now at Amazon.com
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What....no coconut oil? Olive oil is just plain boring....
ReplyDeleteSorry, Pami...you'll have to take it up with Bieber....
DeleteI was a believer ... the olive oil, then the vegetable oil, I mean. But I didn't tell anyone about it. I figured that was how "the Bieb" kept that prepubescent look going.
ReplyDeleteSo you were a closet Bieleber....
DeleteNo, even though the Bieb is a fellow Canuck, I was more of a Bobby Sherman girl myself.
DeleteI always thought Olive Oil was Popeye's girlfriend. Did they ever get married I was never sure about Sweet Pea. Then again it is probably a better name than Baby Spinach. On your mention of information I am left to wonder at how human nosiness bought us thus far - A Global Gossip Fraternity of unverifiable data.
ReplyDeletei can't keep up. with emails, posts, blogs, and there are too many oils.... time to simplify.
ReplyDelete