I’m a little over-caffeinated today.
I usually keep to two cups of coffee each morning, but today
I totally forgot about the second cup and accidentally had a third.
Well, maybe not so much accidentally as I had to actually make
another cup.
Well, not the cup—I already had the cup...a lot of cups,
actually—but more the liquid that goes into the cup that contains the
coffee...and, naturally the caffeine.
Well, maybe I made more than just another cup and the liquid
that goes into the cup that contains the coffee...and, naturally the caffeine,
since I don’t know how to make just one cup, so I actually made two more cups
and the liquid that goes into the cup that contains the coffee...and,
naturally the caffeine...but only drank one more...at least for now.
So I’m feeling a little more energetic than usual...you know, because of all the yada yada yada....
Not that you can tell, because you’re just reading this and
you can’t see the size of my pupils...but if you could, you’d know that I’m
really geared up.
I mean right now, I have the urge to paint my roof, enlarge
my basement...maybe even move my neighbor’s garage.
I also feel like transcribing Wester’s dictionary, Roget’s
Thesaurus AND Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations...all editions...into Klingon.
But luckily I have a built in antidote for all this hyper
energy; it’s called chronic laziness...and after a short nap of a couple of
hours or so, this too shall pass.
You’re probably wondering, with all this caffeine coursing
through my system how I could possibly drift off to sleep, which to be honest
is certainly a fair question.
But I find if I close my eyes that usually does the trick.
Which is good because if I didn’t your guess is as good as
mine whose laundry I’d end up doing.
And whether or not anyone is actually still wearing it.
Because even though I’m fueled by this huge caffeine driven
adrenaline rush, my judgment’s not always the best in this situation.
I know...right?
Hard to tell.
Okay...sure. Maybe I
don’t know how to operate a back hoe properly, let alone use it to pick up
McDonalds...but you have to admire the ambition.
Plus, no one was using it at the time...not really.
And maybe that woman didn’t actually need help carrying in
her groceries...or whatever it was she had in her trunk.
Maybe it was her spare tire, just like the summons said, but
helpful is helpful...right?
Anyway, I’ve been sleeping this little rush off for the last
few paragraphs—not that you could tell—so I’m starting to get both feet back underneath
me, which is good since the guy with the badge who’s been sitting nearby this whole time is starting to look annoyed.
But I can’t complain.
At least I got a few things accomplished today....
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it's a special gift to be able to sleep after a cup (or 6) of coffee... i rarely nap but i can sleep (and give a urine sample, probably tmi) on command... happy friday!
ReplyDeletecheers to the lenten season where it may be necessary to replace the meat with the beer.
You're a women of many talents...and apparently handy should there be a fire....
DeleteDo you mean Nicole can put out the fire with the beer?
DeleteWell, what else would I mean...?
Deletefor the record, the beer would not be wasted in such a way...there are other means.....
DeleteAfter a visit, my brother left a bottle of Heineken and one of Beck's Beer. Jay chose the Heineken to trap those green worms that nibble on the young tomatoes. Nicole might have done a better job than the beer. Hey - where is Ropey?
Deletethanks joan... i hope jay drank the heineken before the worms were allowed in.
DeleteI'm gonna step back and let you ladies sort this all out...worms, bottles, beer...what have you.
DeleteJoan, I beleive Ropey is off writing a musical based on his life. He's promised me a preview before it hits the London stage....