People don’t live in apartments or work in offices anymore.
Instead they have spaces.
You might overhear two people speaking, while you’re eavesdropping
at the guacamole store:
“I
need a new Armadillo cage for my space.”
“What
happened to your old Armadillo cage?”
“Nothing...I
just need something new to change things up...something more exciting than what
I’ve been living with.”
“In
your current space?”
“Yeah...I
could never fit an Armadillo cage, to my liking, in my old space. Way too small for that kind of thing.”
“So
your new space is larger?”
“Oh
yeah...almost twice as big.”
“Wow...that
must be pretty nice, all that room...space wise.”
“It
is, but like I said, it needs spicing up...hence the Armadillo cage.”
“Well,
I’m sure the Armadillo will be pleased.”
“What
Armadillo?”
“Uhm...the
one who the cage is for?”
“Oh,
I don’t have an Armadillo...just the cage.
What would I do with an Armadillo?”
“I
don’t know...impress chicks...clear out the cockroaches.”
“Well,
I actually enjoy the cockroaches and nothing I do ever seems to impress chicks.”
“So
weird....”
“Right?”
Then there’s the work situation. Used to be if you put in your time, worked
hard and proved your worth you’d be rewarded with your own office...with a door
and everything; possibly a window. And if you were really valuable...you’re own
bathroom...because, you know, really important people can’t waste time peeing with
other people in a public setting...unless it’s late at night in the alley
behind the pub after you closed that big deal.
But nowadays a lot of businesses have gone to the more
utilitarian, utopian socialistic model of standardized cubicle spaces, or even
more Orwellian, just plain space.
I think because once Regan stared shouting about taking down
those walls everyone thought it was the thing to do.
But I could be wrong....
The open floor plan means everyone is equal...without doors,
without windows, without walls...which
makes that whole executive bathroom situation kind of awkward.
“How’s
the new job coming?”
“Oh,
just great...my new work space is wonderful!”
“Really...how
much bigger is it than your old work space?”
“Oh,
much...my old space was so confining...now I don’t feel hemmed in anymore.”
‘That’s
good.”
“Yeah,
I can see all the way across the office to the big window at the end of the
room. I can almost make out when it’s raining...or dark
“Sounds
like a great space!”
“It
is...except I don’t have any place to hang my squirrel collages, anymore. Plus
the guy who sits across the way stares at me all day and rubs his elbows...among
other things.”
“Well,
I guess there’s a downside to any space. But at least it’s your own. You worked
hard for that space.”
“I
did...it’s what I always wanted. And now I have my eye on that big corner space
down the hall. My boss is in there now, but I’ve got big plans to hang a hat of
my own in that space, someday. I mean if there’s was a place to put a hook....”
But even that kind of office arrangement is kind of old hat,
so to speak.
A lot of people, today, don’t even need a place to have a space.
They work from home in a virtual space...wherever their computers and other
assorted devices take them.
Even I have a space.
I’m actually in my space right now.
I know because that’s where Z puts me in the morning and tells
me to wait until she comes home.
_________________________________
Available now at Amazon.com - Click Here
Like" the Retorts on Facebook
Or subscribe above to receive Retorts by E-Mail
No comments:
Post a Comment
Retort to the Retort -
“Is there anybody alive out there…”