So I’m officially a Twit.
I mean Z has been calling me that for
years, but now I guess it’s official because I’ve created a Freelance Retort
Twitter thing.
Or is it just….@FreelanceRetort.
I don’t know.
Because you can’t Twit
yourself on your own computer…so I don’t know what works and what doesn’t.
I know the proper term is
“Tweet” but I think it should really be “Twit”. In fact I’m almost certain that
was the first thought when they were thinking this all up. But then some
marketing guy, of course, probably put the kibosh on it, thinking "Twit" would put
a negative spin on everything.
But that’s how marketing
guys are. They miss the creative
angle. Because, again, I’m almost
certain that the real twits amongst us are proud of our twitness.
It is who we are….
And we should be allowed to
marry…without the required waivers.
But no…now we send
‘Tweets”…which just puts us in mind of a short pudgy bird.
I’ve been resisting social media ever since it came into existence. In fact I’ve been resistant to anything social for most of my life, unless it involves cru de tae.
I’m not exactly sure what that is, but I
know it’s always present when I socialize...if it's not, I walk.
Anyway, after a year of retorting, I’m
still trying to figure out how to get more people—other than the guy from the
CIA who has to monitor these things for secret code words—to read this stuff.
So my blogger friend’s been
telling me that this was something I needed to do in order to drive traffic to
my site.
I said, “I don’t want to drive traffic to my site. I
think the traffic should drive itself or at least take the bus”.
And then she changed her
e-mail address…again.
So I did it.
And, as I write this, I already have two
whole followers.
Plus a couple of others that come in separate pieces....
Plus a couple of others that come in separate pieces....
Of the intact followers, one is the person who egged
me into this in the first place. I guess she felt guilty for emphasizing my patheticness…that plus the fact I threatened
her cat if she didn’t.
And the other is the cat…who’s not
taking any chances.
But I’m thinking of
blocking the cat, because it’s funnier than I am.
Anyway, now I officially have 2 Twitter followers, if you count
the cat.
I’m hoping to get 10 more so I can start my own church and get
the tax exemption.
So basically, for about a
week, I’ve been leaving funny quips for my two official followers—again, I'm counting the cat—but not the CIA guy.
Not wanting to be too much
of a Twit, I did some research to see what kinds of things other people were
Twiting.
It seems there are a lot of
people—celebrities for the most part—who apologize for their unruly behavior
and inappropriate comments.
So I thought I’d better start
off with getting a few things off my chest, as well….
I’m sorry about the incident with the Chihuahua….
I wish Travolta would stop tweeting me…I’m not that guy anymore!
I never saw that woman before and those pictures were obviously doctored!
Or was the woman a doctor and I never saw those photos before?
I
will never borrow Gary Busey’s dentures again….
So that’s
what you get if you follow me…plus a link to all the latest retorts.
The Freelance Retort on
Twitter…
Guaranteed to say
something stupid every day!
Hard to
resist…I know.
People are
already jumping on board.
Tweet
Follow @FreelanceRetort
Never mind the CIA guy; he is harmless. It's the NSA guy who is on to you, ever since you mentioned Z, which raised a red flag. Their ears are flapping, big time. I know, as I am an ex-CIA gal.
ReplyDeleteThey must be very confused....
DeleteBut Z will appreciate the attention