Friday, January 3, 2014

Already Late

It’s only the 3rd day of the year and I’m already late with the first Retort of 2014.

I suppose I could blame the weather. 

Traffic conditions are hell out there this morning.

Blowing snow and 6 degrees with wind chills in the minus gazillions.

Even the penguins are complaining.

But that would be misleading.

The only obstacle I face on my way into do whatever it is I do, is to navigate around the pile of socks I left in the hallway, between the bedroom and the office, that Z refuses to pick up.

I mean what’s the problem?
They’re practically still clean and besides… how long can bacteria survive…a year….two…possibly three?

Anyway, I managed to plow through so here I am.

Late…but better than not at all…right?

Wait…I heard that!

So the snow is moving out as I write, but the wind is still howling, as I said, so it’s hard to tell the difference between actual precipitation and the blowing stuff.

I keep shouting to Z, who’s out cleaning off the cars, “Is it still snowing, or what?” but she can’t seem to hear me through the wind, and she’s not answering her cell phone.

Plus the constant gale is making it difficult for her to maintain any sort of solid footing to talk for very long, even if I could communicate with her…something that she says has been impossible for the last 30 years, anyway.

Which, as anyone who actually knows us understands, is a complete exaggeration.

Everyone knows it’s only been 29…or more likely, 28 and a half years since we discussed the taco incident.

Come on…It was one taco…get over it.

Or maybe it was me who had the problem…and maybe it was an enchilada?

Who can remember after 28 and a half years?

Hold on…it was a Chimichanga…and it was my Uncle Ernie who had the issue.

Wait til' I tell Z…if she can ever stand up long enough to finish the shoveling and get back inside.

I mean the hot chocolate’s not gonna make itself…. not to mention our cozy little fire.

So it’s a new year and a clean slate for all of us.

Z keeps saying there’s gonna be a lot of changes this year…which I take to mean she’s planning on rearranging the living room again.

I just hope she listens to me this time and bends at the knees so she doesn’t hurt her back again.

That’s the worse.

Whenever Z hurts her back it takes her forever to get the laundry done.

Even without the pile of socks.

Hmmmmm….I just noticed she brought all her luggage downstairs and put it by the door.

Maybe she’s planned another surprise trip to Cabo for us.

No…I see there’s only one ticket.

What would Z want with just one ticket to Cabo?

And only one way to boot.

Oh well, I guess it’s a mystery, at least until she pulls herself out of that huge drift over by the dogwood.

I told her to be careful out there.

But you know how it is…does anyone ever listen?

Anyway…can’t worry about that now. 

I just have a feeling 2014 is gonna be full of surprises!

And wouldn’t it be a nice way to start if “someone” would make that Lemon Coconut cake that I like so much.

I’m just sayin….

1 comment:

Retort to the Retort -

“Is there anybody alive out there…”