At the beginning of a new year, which traditionally means January—unless you have another tradition, which many people do— It’s way too easy to simply sit here and write about the weather.
That’s why I’m trying to stand on my head while I do it.
But I keep typing backward, and I'm constantly correcting myself.
Not to mention driving spell check crazy.
But…speaking of…crazy…that’s just how the weather’s been the last few days…yzarc!
See what I do for you people…now I’m having trouble feeling my feet.
But I’m standing on my head so what’s there to feel?
Anyway…we were in the single digits this past Friday with blowing and drifting snow.
Shoveled that away on Saturday and then enjoyed a nice 20 plus degree day, which felt like a heat wave…and then a day of freezing rain on Sunday, which basically turned everyone’s front walk into a skating rink by 10 AM
Not that I minded the skating, but the organ music was annoying and my hot chocolate sales didn’t do as well as I expected.
Okay…I’m kidding about that part….the hot chocolate sales were actually pretty good.
Hey, what do you expect from a guy whose entire blood supply has pooled around his earlobes.
Then, as midnight approached, the temps had risen back into the 40s, which pretty much put the kibosh on my whole Moonlight Skating package.
Monday morning we awoke to the balmy 50’s, with periods of deluging rain through the day, which pretty much finished off whatever remaining snow remained.
Kind of sad to see all the weekend snowmen dwindling down the storm drains.
Even sadder to see all the piles of pristine snow, the symbol of all our hard shoveling labor diminished to the size of a snowball.
But not to fret, if fretting is within your repertoire of worry… by noon the thermometer began to drop again, little by little, inch by inch…so by this morning we’re once again in the single digits with the return of blustery winds and a wind chill of minus the dark side of the moon.
Apparently, it’s all a part of this unusual “Polar Vortex” swirling down from the Artic. Of course, I know, if you’re reading this in the Midwest, where actual air temps are minus 30, you’re saying, “What…this guy must be standing on his head if he thinks that single digits is cold!” and you would be right…on both counts!
But cold is cold, no matter where you are and no matter how low or not how low the numbers go.
I mean to me, anything under 15 is all the same because by then I go numb and by the time it hits 5, the inside of my nose freezes, which I actually enjoy.
Most of us can get used to anything…even writing upside down, which I have to admit has started to feel quite tnasaelp…I mean pleasant.
But is it too much to ask for a little consistency.
Skates on Sunday… Shorts on Monday…Eskimo-wear on Tuesday.
But I suppose that’s just how it is here in the Great Northeast come January.
You have to be ready for anything.
Even a guy standing on his head trying to be funny.
Hey, there’s the Twinkie I lost a few years ago.
I knew it was impossible to lose a Twinkie.