Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Not Good




 
It’s not good when you pop a stick of butter in the microwave to soften in the morning and suddenly hear sizzling and popping….

Not good….

It’s not good when you go out to bring in your newspaper and find your annoying neighbor reading it…who asks you to come back in a half hour…and if you could put real cream in his coffee, this time….

Not good….

It’s not good when go to butter your toast and find there’s some kind of green fuzz on the top of it…and the sides…but you eat it anyway…and like it.

Not good….

It’s not good when you take a picture of the fuzzy toast and post it on Facebook…and get a hundred “Likes”…in 5 minutes…and you like the “Likes”.

It’s not good when you pass out from lack of oxygen every morning tying your shoes….

It’s not good when find out later you mistakenly put on your wife’s shoes, because you couldn’t see your feet….

It’s not good when you like your wife’s shoes better than your own and decide to wear them…again.

It’s not good when you take a picture of your wife’s shoes on your feet and post it on Facebook…and get a hundred “Likes”…in 5 minutes…and you like the “Likes”….

It’s not good when your wife kisses you goodbye and mistakenly calls you Enrique…every morning….

It’s not good when Enrique finally gives you back your newspaper, but forgets to leave the sports section…..

It’s not good when the receptionist at the office you’ve worked in, for the last 25 years, always asks if she can help you….

It’s not good when your boss asks you to show the new guy the ropes, and tells you he’s gonna need to use your desk…

It’s not good if the new guy asks you for the newspaper and if you could put real cream in his coffee….

It’s not good if you actually go and get the coffee… and make a fresh pot, as well…

It’s not good if you get a voice mail from Enrique asking if you can bring Tai food home for dinner...and requests you leave it at the front door after ringing the bell….

It’s not good if you return Enrique’s call and ask how spicy he likes it….

It’s not good if you get in your car to pick up the Tai food and the guy in the back seat asks you to take him to Hoboken…and refuse to pay the tolls.

It’s not good if you drive the guy in the back seat to Hoboken, pay the tolls yourself, and ask him if he knows of any good Tai places in the area.

It’s not good if the guy in the Tai place chuckles when he hands you your food….

It’s not good if you chuckle along with him as he hands you your food…and tip him 30%…which makes him chuckle even more.

It’s not good if you leave the food at your own front door as instructed…and find somebody left a tip…but only 5%.

It’s not good if you sit at a computer all day and write silly stuff like this, in which people tell you the only thing that makes sense is the title…to which you agree…with no tip…and you don’t even like Tai food.

Not good…not good…not good…
 
 
 

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8 comments:

  1. I know. It was not good when my ex-boyfriend started dating my friend, Bunny, And then he called to ask if he could borrow my Benny Goodman records to take to Bunny's house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No...Bunny and Benny, never good...

      And you gave him the records...not good....

      Delete
  2. Poor old Bunny her Benny Goodman records were merely scratching the surface. Not Good

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, he could have had the Glenn Millers too, just to show I couldn't care less. And that's pretty good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No...never give up the Millers! How else will you begin your Beguine...let alone end it...

      Delete
    2. That was Artie Shaw, man.

      Delete
    3. Hey, what do you want from me? I wasn't even born yet! You're right of course, but I only know the Glenn Miller version since it' the only Big Band album I have. Written and originally performed by Cole Porter, but not to successful...at least from what I read on Wiki...

      Delete

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